Month: February 2021

  • How To Turn Flaws Into Opportunities to Create a Brand Story

    How To Turn Flaws Into Opportunities to Create a Brand Story
    How To Embrace Your Flaws Into Opportunities to Create Your Brand Story

    We’ve all heard the saying “focus on your strengths, not on your weaknesses” countless times. We’ve learned from some of the biggest influencers of our time to ignore –even deny – the parts of ourselves that are flawed. We’ve grown accustomed to society’s blanket-approach to perceived weaknesses as something to be ashamed of 

    While there may be some weight to this concept in the context of a corporate career setting, the idea of shutting out pain, trauma, and what we perceive to be negative or flawed traits is really denying the truth of one’s self.   

    Can I really turn flaws into opportunities? 

    What I do know is that you don’t have to hide away your perceived weaknesses. You can, in fact, create opportunities for growth and greater self-love, as well as for connection in your business.  . And I don’t mean just run-of-the-mill “I’m not good at math” flaws. Even past trauma that often leaves insecurities and fears in its wake can also perpetuate a desire to seek and evolve our life to something greater. 

    Melanie Greenberg Ph.D. cites that trauma can have surprisingly positive effects on interpersonal relationships, new possibilities in one’s life, personal strength, spirituality, and garner a new appreciation of life.  

    She says, “Research on posttraumatic growth has also shown that the experience of trauma may lead people into new activities, lifestyles, and/or relationships that make life more meaningful, rich, and satisfying.”  

    The problem with ignoring flaws.

    You end up denying yourself of any learning, healing, or positive change when you ignore parts of yourself that you aren’t proud of or that may have been painful.

    It’s our weaknesses that hold our greatest opportunity for personal growth and connection to self. 

    I have used my own flaws (and Lawd, I have many) as fuel for positive change and motivated me to challenge myself further.  

    The biggest obstacle, of course, is turning weakness into an advantage. To do this, you need to be willing to allow it to rise to the surface, to look at it objectively, and to see hidden opportunity. 

    Bring your flaws to light. 

    Be willing to bring weaknesses to the surface. Suppressing them, hiding them, and ignoring them will never hold healing and doesn’t aid in growth. Examine why you see this experience, behavior, or lack of ability as a flaw. See how it may have led or could lead to something greater in your life. Ask yourself if it really is a flaw at all? Get curious about this part of yourself without being reactive or judgmental. 

    Most importantly, do not continue the pattern of shame and guilt for this part of yourself. Forgive it, forgive yourself, and release it.  

    Ditch your fixed mindset. 

    Instead of looking at your flaws as a great barrier to your life’s happiness (fixed mindset), see them as a way to grow and find new perspectives (growth mindset).   

    “In a fixed mindset, you want to hide your flaws, so you’re not judged or labeled a failure. In a growth mindset, your flaws are just a TO-DO list of things to improve.” — Derek Sivers 

    We are all capable of controlling our own destiny, and to truly realize this, you need to believe that the world around you isn’t fixed. That you are able and capable of taking your weakness, your flaw, your bad experience, even your trauma and turning it into a goldmine of opportunity.  

    Find gratitude. 

    I know you’re rolling your eyes at the gratitude cliché. Not to mention the absurdity of trying to find gratitude for things we have been deeply wounded by or feel great shame over. Stay with me, Susan; I promise there’s something to this. 

    How does one find gratitude to say, sexual trauma? It is possible because I did it. The trauma of sexual abuse took me on a journey of depression, a lack of self-worth, and a lack of respect for who I was for a very long time.  

    As I dug into this flawed part of myself, I began to see these were emotions that I felt during certain moments of my life. But wasn’t who I was. The emotions were a response, not a signal of my inner Being. When I began to associate ME with a feeling no longer, I realized there was more to me than the trauma 

    This experience allowed me to help others heal from their own trauma and not define themselves as what happened.” I began to forge a deeper bond to myself, to Spirit, and even with clients because I was able to get vulnerable and relate to what they were going through while also giving them hope that, like me, they can heal.  

    We all have the ability to turn our flaws into opportunities by sharing our stories, bnot hiding in shame, and empowering ourselves and others to grow and be extraordinary.  

    I know you may be like, so now what? This is what becomes, Your Brand Story, by turning your flaws into opportunities for connection

    You are more than a past story, trauma, or even circumstance. Chance is if you are reading this, you’ve probably overcome a good deal of shit by now in your life. On a good day pretty freaking proud about that too.

    That’s why you continue to follow the desire to have a passionate, purpose-driven business led by the soul. You crave more because you are more and know without a fathom of a doubt you are part of a bigger plan and mission.

    What do your people need most? To know it’s ok to be human is what your stories do. They are a connection point for them to know they are not alone. That you get it, you lived through it, and look at you now. That’s some pretty empowering shit right there, my friend. You may still be going through life as you share past experiences; that’s fine; that makes you even more human and even more relatable.

    You know your audience wants to be more than a number. They may never get to know you personally, but they feel like you do through the content that you deliver. This is when you serve and share rather than come across as, ‘hey, I’m here to sell you this.’ However, you are still “selling” just in an easier more aligned path for you.

    If you need a more walk you through the process of how to develop your story, you may want to check out my mini-course, Your Story, Your Brand, where I walk you through step-by-step to develop this powerful form of marketing of turning your flaws into opportunities to connect to your ideal clients & customers.

    Just know YOU are perfect the way you. You only have to change what you choose to improve, not because anything is wrong with you. There are people waiting for you to show them what you are made of, they want to read your story, hear your voice, and know that there is a way because you show them that way.

    Danielle Aime Intuitive Life and Business Coach
    Grow your spiritual business using your story
    Grow your spiritual business using your story
    Grow your spiritual business using your story
    grow your spiritual business using your story
    grow your spiritual business using your story
    grow your spiritual business using your story

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  • 3 Lifesavers to Soothe Pain and Judgement During Your Spiritual Awakening

    3 Lifesavers to Soothe Pain and Judgement During Your Spiritual Awakening

    3 Lifesavers to Soothe Pain and Judgement During Your Spiritual Awakening

    We all know what coming of age “should” look like Graduate high school, go to college, get married, take out a mortgage, have 2.6 kids…you know the drill. Most of us succumb to living up to the expectations of our family and the people that we’ve built relationships with, without really examining at all if what we are doing is what we really want for ourselves and our life.

    Fast forward a decade or two and what happens? People get depressed. They get anxious. They get frustrated, bored, and discontented with their mediocre life. Unfulfilled by living out the expectations of others and no clue what to do about it.

    It’s at this crossroad that our spiritual journey often begins, but it comes with no shortage of challenges. Perhaps the hardest being those you love who judge your spiritual awakening.

    Judgement is Born from Dissonance

    Why do we do this? Why do we go through so much of our lives unconscious to ourselves? Why do we care so much about fitting in, that we don’t even think about who we really are, or what we really want?

    Generally speaking, people are just trying to blend in. To fit in with conventional wisdom so as to avoid feeling uncomfortable or making anyone else feel uncomfortable. This is called Cognitive Dissonance.

    Cognitive dissonance is described by psychology expert Kendra Cherry as the feelings of discomfort that result when your beliefs run counter to your behaviors or to new information that is presented to you. It’s the discomfort of having two conflicting thoughts and the urge to make that discomfort go away that leads to one of two things:

    Doing things the way everyone else does or pissing them off by doing it your way.

    The former results in the comfort of feeling accepted by blending into societal norms and culture. The latter results in feeling the discomfort that inevitably comes with personal growth and development.

    If you choose door number 2, the conflict that can occur with those around you happens because they are now in a state of cognitive dissonance. You are presenting them with new information that is counter to their own beliefs and behaviors.

    To be frank, it can come as quite a shock to your loved ones if everything you’ve ever been is suddenly turned on its ass. Nonetheless, it can be painful when they judge your spiritual awakening. Remember their discontent isn’t personal, even if it’s being projected on to you that way. It’s coming from their deep-rooted psychological desire to not feel uncomfortable – to be like everyone else.

    The Downside of Dissonance

    Throughout spiritual growth, you will experience the effects of dissonance. Your uncovered beliefs and your new behaviors and way of being will feel deeply empowering and liberating. But your external environment and the people in it will remain exactly as they were before your spiritual growth spurt, leaving you feeling isolated.

    To add to that, the people you were once close to might become unbearable to be around. You will feel judged by those you confide in for your new way of thinking. You might feel alienated and wonder how things could change so fast. Did these people ever care about me??

    It helps to know where the judgment comes from

    Dissonance is psychologically powerful, and we will do almost anything to avoid feeling it. So, when others are judging you and you feel the pain of their rejection, it’s helpful to know they are simply responding to the discomfort of their own cognitive dissonance. For most people, the fastest way to reduce their dissonance is to reject what’s making them uncomfortable. In this case, it just happens to be you and your spiritual awakening.

    You see, dissonance is really the fancy word for ego. Our ego’s first goal is to keep us feeling comfortable, therefore maintaining the guise of safety. If people are judging you harshly – even rejecting you – it’s because their ego is running the show. They are unable to accept your differences because they are unaware of their own ego’s attempt at keeping them feeling “safe”.

    How to handle it when people judge your spiritual awakening

    I notice with many of my clients that once they open the floodgates of who they really are, the people in their life take notice. And it usually isn’t pretty. They begin to get very caught up in, “But so and so doesn’t like me now…” or “She told me I’m being crazy…” or “My best friend stopped talking to me.”

    Take a stance for yourself, not what the majority rules to be right.

    But here’s the thing I respond to my clients with, and it’s what I want you to remember more than anything:

    Is this your life, or theirs?

    When they are on their death bed do you think they are thinking of the things you did in life or the things they did?

    Your awakening is a beautiful thing, but it will very likely come with some ugly moments. Harsh truth. So how can you handle the major relationship shifts you will almost assuredly experience through exposing the core beliefs about who you really are to others?

    5 simple steps to end your limiting beliefs

    Be brave.

    At the end of the day, you gotta do you, boo! What do you feel in your heart? What do you leak from your soul? It’s in there, you just need to be brave enough to let it out.

    For example, it wasn’t that long ago I remember having an anxiety attack after being on Periscope for 3 minutes. I’m talking sweating like a mofo, voice shaking, perfect hair and makeup, and taking forever to even hit the “live” button.

    Those of you that follow me know that I am now completely comfortable on live streams. In fact, I prefer posting videos to my YouTube Channel more than any other type of content. (Also, I generally don’t give AF about hair and make-up anymore.)

    When I started, I was scared. I was scared about what people would think about little-old-me having the hutzpah to talk like an expert online. I was scared of judgment, scared of rejection, and especially scared about the people I know seeing me do my thing! That was my cognitive dissonance popping up to say hi.

    My engrained belief was that I was not worthy and not smart enough to be speaking publicly. It wasn’t normal in my circles to talk online or to be an ‘expert’ on anything. The new belief that I was coming around to finally honoring was that actually, I was fucking awesome and I should be helping others. I had a choice in how to remove the dissonance: stay the same and reinforce the old belief pattern to keep everyone comfy or go live and align with the fact that I was indeed awesome.

    Give yourself (and others) grace.

    So, whatever it is; spirituality, changing careers, changing genders, it helps to know and remember why people do the things they do.

    The harsh truth that in life there’s always going to be people who don’t like you, who turn their backs on you or flat-out reject you can be quelled with the knowledge that really, we are all wired to avoid feeling like we don’t belong and will do almost anything to eliminate it.

    What matters is that you are happy at a soul-level. That you are striving to embody the highest version of yourself. Take it one step at a time. And give yourself my favorite word that I learned for myself a few years back: GRACE.

    Allow yourself to change, to start something and decide it’s not for you, to fall flat on your ass, to not make 6-figures in 30 seconds or less, and to look like you walk a runway on your first live stream. Allow what is truly you to emerge with grace, and consider the judgments a sign that you are getting closer to her.

    If you need a hand, I’m here to help you navigate this journey and unveil your soul’s longing.

    danielle aime spiritual teacher intuitive business coach

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  • 3 Mistakes Keeping You From Living a Life of Joy

    3 Mistakes keeping you from living a life of joy

    3 mistakes keeping you from living a life of joy

    I’m gonna cut the shit and let this cat out of the bag right off the bat: I’m no Marie Kondo, and not everyone who reads this post will find joy. #sorrynotsorry  [watch her show-read her book]

    This post isn’t a magic joy pill. (In fact, there is no pill, even if you wanted one.)  

    You see, YOU already are the change you wish to be. You are awesome and limitless. You are your own guide, your chooser, the leader of your journey. Yep, I called you a leader even if you don’t buy it. I’m here to show you how to unveil all of this, believe it, and run with it so you can live a life of epic joy. But you need to be willing to do the work and make the change. 

    What you will learn from this post is knowing the silver lining in your life already exists and how to find it. Achieving pure JOY in your life? Well, it can take a while for the general ‘Joe human’ to get there, but I’m here to help and this guide is the starting point. 

    The first step towards any change is awareness. This guide will bring you to a place of awareness that you are NOT mediocre and that awesome, limitless joy is within you.  

    Change isn’t a one-and-done event. Instead, it is a rinse and repeat thing. The more you do it and the more you smack yourself on the ass and tell yourself to get it together, the more magical and joyous life becomes. You’ll be surprised to know that some of the greatest changes you will ever experience will come from the simplest choices you make.  

    I wrote this post for you because I truly wanted to create something for people that would give you the opportunity to change the course of your life. Whether or not we ever meet again, I hope you choose yourself today and choose the work of finding and living a life of joy

    Now, grab yourself a beverage, and let’s dive into the 3 big mistakes that block joy, so you can start to find the true, long-lasting joy you’ve been craving.  

    1. Not living in the NOW.  

    Most people live each day only seeing, thinking, OBSESSING over what needs to be done or happen for them to feel better. Worse yet, lots of people feel they are quitting or settling if they DON’T focus their thoughts on these things.  

    Here’s a secret that changed the course of my life: accepting where you are is ok and brings you further in life and closer to joy.  

    3 mistakes keeping you from living a life of joy | danielle aime | spiritual teacher

    Accepting where you are and who you are right now means that you are in love with the broke, divorced, single, cute but psycho, slightly OCD self. The wrinkles, the pudge, the not so fancy car, the tiny house…all of it.  

    When you can look at your bank account that’s missing a couple of zeros and still, without hesitation, breathe out in the knowing it’s all going to be ok, you are one giant step closer to living a life of joy. 

    In the very moment you are facing doubt or self-criticism about where you are, choose to send out into the Universe that “I am happy, I am whole, I create my reactions, and I CHOOSE how to respond.”  

    Being in the now also includes gratitude for what you have and where you are right now. “I choose to find gratitude in life.” “My bank account is low…BUT there is food to eat, gas to fuel the car and hey, I even have the ability to view my bank account because of this awesome electronic device I’m holding.” 

    2. Looking at everyone else’s life.  

    Man, this one right here?  It’s a DOOZY of a mistake. Yet it’s the most common form of sabotaging yourself from joy.  Where do I even begin? I feel you rolling your eyes at me, about to point your finger and say “yeah, but…”  

    Look Linda, everyone does this. It’s human nature to observe what we perceive others having and wish we had it too. But believing the grass is always greener is basing your joy on a total sham. The extent to which you compare yourself to others holds you back from appreciating your amazing journey. 

    The only life you get to live is yours. Not your mom’s, cousin Kim’s, or Amanda’s down at Sephora with the on-point brows. Their lives may be incredibly awesome, but none of them have anything to do with your life. So why does it matter?  
     
    We all come from different upbringings, have different personalities, shapes, sizes, and capacities of willpower. I urge you to source ideas and inspiration from your environment and external factors, but don’t define and compare your life by what it “lacks” as you compare it to another. Don’t let it strip you down to feeling you didn’t do things right, or don’t have enough of whatever it is “they” have. 
     
    Society paints a pretty narrow picture of what success looks like. Ask yourself the questions below and free write what really comes up for you. There is no wrong answer, so don’t overthink it. Be really honest with yourself and you may be surprised what comes up.

    Side note of inspiration:  

    What does (insert your name) want?
    What do I like?
    What choices have led me to where I am today?
    What can I do now to appreciate where I am?
    What does where I am now, help me to get in the future?

    Use the things that you see as “lack” to inspire appreciation of what’s to come. We all start somewhere, and when you take the time to appreciate what it is that you do have right now, energetic doors start to open for more of your desires to manifest.  

    Still, scraping the bottom of your brain for something to appreciate? Start with the most basic thing: You have life. You have the ability to breathe in this very moment and to make choices to EMPOWER your life that can change your destiny to the greatness you want it to be. 

    3. Lack of love & forgiveness. 

    At this point, I would assume you get what we are doing here. Yes, ladies, we are adding a sprinkle of Mary Poppins onto your life. Everyone can add these sprinkles to their life – including you. 
     
    So even though shit happened,  you slept with people that should have never breathed the same air as you, quit things when you felt you should have kept going, married the wrong person, spent too much money, gained too much weight…it doesn’t matter. 
     
    Even if you checked every single box above YOU ARE FUCKING phenomenal. Why do I know this? Because after all that shit, here you are still trying to love yourself a bit more and appreciate your life with a bit more grace. That takes so much courage, tenacity, and vulnerability. High five and hugs to you my lady friend. High five and hugs.  
     
    Know this: You have been doing the best you can with what you have had or could handle at the time.  

    Case and Point: Me, 7 years ago. I was a complete TRAIN WRECK. And you better believe I still have my “Cute but psycho” moments to this day. But my God, do I love my life now. And am so fulfilled.  

    Even with the toddler snacks crushed behind the car seat and the couch that’s turned into an unfolded laundry depository. I’m still full of joy because I have learned the most important element to achieve it; loads of self-love and self-forgiveness. I’m still human y’all, living a life of joy, is consciously choosing to live in that place. I have to CHOOSE, and I don’t always – I have bad days too.

    5 simple steps to end your limiting beliefs

    There are countless ways to learn to forgive your past transgressions and light yourself up. Here are some easy ways to get yourself started. 

    1. Mantra to cut out (or tattoo on your forehead):  

    I AM RIGHT WHERE I NEED TO BE. 

    Repeat this everyday as much as you can. Repeat it until you are sick of it and then repeat it some more. Repeat it until you BELIEVE it. And then for sure repeat it some more. 

    1. Right now, in this very moment, write down 5 things that you need so badly to change in your life. The 5 things that royally suck and make you want to start throwing punches at someone.  

    Now, take those 5 horrid, asshole things and write a brief letter to each one. Tell each thing why it’s been a blessing to have them in your life. Why you are grateful for them. This includes things like what have you been taught, what do you now realize about yourself, what did it inspire you to want to have/be? 

    Danielle Aime Intuitive Life and Business Coach

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  • How Self-Forgiveness Can Heal and Bring Peace to You | 4 Step Process

    How Self-Forgiveness Can Heal and Bring Peace to You

    How Self-Forgiveness Can Heal and Bring Peace to You | 4 Step Process


    Ahhh
    , forgiveness. The elusive, seemingly impossible dream. This entire topic is a real bitch, isn’t it? Forgiveness is big area of exploration these days for my clients and a huge part of the equation to finding personal and spiritual freedom. I won’t lie, understanding self-forgiveness is even harder and is the work of a warrior 

    1. What is forgiveness? Is it always necessary to forgive? Who do you forgive first? And how do you start forgiving yourself? These are just a few questions on this monumentally confusing topic that confront us as we move through personal transformation. 

    I know what a confusing mess forgiveness can seem like when you are starting down the road of spiritual awakening, so I’ve created this post as a roadmap to help get you started with understanding the basics of forgiveness and the process of starting where it matters most – yourself. 

    What is forgiveness? 

    The dictionary version of forgiveness is “to cease to feel resentment against”. It’s almost laughably simplistic, isn’t it? As simple as it sounds, there is usually no straight-line path to forgiveness. You don’t start at anger, resentment, and hurt and just walk on over to everything is awesome. If only it were that simple.   

    Forgiveness rather is a container in which you choose to nurture or not. It’s a continuum of moving back and forth through emotions and choices. You know you are within a state of forgiveness when your feelings of anger, hate, or resentment become neutralized. This happens through acceptance of what it was that caused the feelings. 

    Marriage and Family Therapist Andrea Brant says that “by forgiving, you are accepting the reality of what happened and finding a way to live in a state of resolution with it. This can be a gradual process…” 

    You don’t HAVE to feel happy or joyful when thinking about the person you are forgiving, or the parts of yourself you don’t enjoy looking at. But you don’t feel shame, guilt or resentment either. 

    Why is forgiveness important? 

    There is no doubt: forgiveness work can feel like a hot pile of steaming garbage to go through. So, it’s easy to wonder whyintheactualhell you would ever put yourself through it. 

    The reason the work of self-forgiveness is transformative and worth it is because it elevates you to a place of peace in your life. This peace is the catalyst for self-love and allows space for you to begin forgiving others and enhancing your spiritual path. (Use this para as a sharable quote box within the blog to highlight.) 

    Besides inner-peace, the forgiveness of yourself and of others helps us on our spiritual path. It connects us more to ourselves and to others, therefore bringing us to closer alignment with source.  

    The way of the spirit is to embrace life – all of it….we often have the power to transform what is destructive in life. Forgiveness of others, and self, is an act of transformation and a high spiritual path.

    Heather Seguin, Thymewood 

    5 simple steps to end your limiting beliefs

    Where to start. 

    Within personal transformation comes a portion of deeper unveiling of one’s self. We hit certain milestones of release, awareness, and growth to then almost feel as if we are plateauing – or getting stuck at one point of growth. This, in fact, is a signal that you have gotten yourself very close to your core truth. The space just before core truth is where the lies you have about yourself – guilt and shame – reside.  

    This is the point of origin of the unwanted feelings. You are hitting the core of who you really are, and you freeze (plateau) because moving through those feelings is crazy-scary waters! Most people bail at this point and stay stuck in discontentment. This is where understanding self-forgiveness becomes essential to personal wellness and spiritual growth. 

    The anger, the sadness, the depression, the fear – those are the parts of yourself that need forgiveness and love. Forgivyourself for the things you may have done that you’re not proud of and for having so many negative feelings about yourself or your situation.  

    Often, the feelings we have when getting close to our truest self are extraordinarily complex and leave us unsure how to sort them out and process them.   

    How do you forgive feelings that you don’t understand? 

    Those yucky feelings that come up during self-forgiveness work that have you stuck, have embodied you on your journey. They have contributed to your sense of shame, hurt or worthlessness and by being there, have held you captive to staying the same.  

    They initiated to protect you – you have outgrown them once you are at the plateau of feeling stuck. It is here that you need to dawn your warrior attire and begin the work of forgiving yourself in order to move more towards your highest-self 

    The most important person to forgive in life is YOU. 

    To release – to let go – we forgive.  Remember these things as you begin to heal: 

    Know that you have always done the best you could with what you knew, could handle, or were able to accept at the time of these events. Even in your worst moments, when you may have lost control – that was your truth then and that’s what you needed to experience.  

    Thank the experience, love it, forgive it, and let it go. We see these memories as the scars we carrybut they actually give us the ability to rise.  

    Feel those feelings. ALL feelings that arise are important to acknowledge and feel so they can be accepted and forgiven.  

    4 Step Exercise 

    If you are reading this article, you are likely ready to start healing and working on finding inner peace. Doing the exercise below is a great way to start and will help you learn about your feelings, release them and create the inner peace that only self-forgiveness can bring.  

    • Write a letter (or audio record) to the parts of you that you don’t know how to face.  
    • It’s important to really focus on and bring up all the emotions attached to these shadow parts. These emotions can range from anger to sadness to jealousy to remorse.  
    • Go deep to acknowledge that those feelings about yourself exist and let them go by writing: “I forgive myself for all the harm I have caused myself and to others in the past. I forgive myself for ever having had these ugly feelings towards myself, and for punishing myself through self-hatred, guilt, and shame. I now release myself from these feelings and hold myself and all around me to the highest good.” 
    • If possible, do an inner-child meditation and hug yourself deep within. We all have a little girl inside of us just wanting to know that she’s accepted as she is, mistakes and all. 
    danielle aime spiritual teacher intuitive business coach
    How Self-Forgiveness Can Heal and Bring Peace to You
    How Self-Forgiveness Can Heal and Bring Peace to You
    How Self-Forgiveness Can Heal and Bring Peace to You
    How Self-Forgiveness Can Heal and Bring Peace to You
    How Self-Forgiveness Can Heal and Bring Peace to You
    How Self-Forgiveness Can Heal and Bring Peace to You

    CONTINUE READING