MIND

  • How To Turn Flaws Into Opportunities to Create a Brand Story

    How To Turn Flaws Into Opportunities to Create a Brand Story
    How To Embrace Your Flaws Into Opportunities to Create Your Brand Story

    We’ve all heard the saying “focus on your strengths, not on your weaknesses” countless times. We’ve learned from some of the biggest influencers of our time to ignore –even deny – the parts of ourselves that are flawed. We’ve grown accustomed to society’s blanket-approach to perceived weaknesses as something to be ashamed of 

    While there may be some weight to this concept in the context of a corporate career setting, the idea of shutting out pain, trauma, and what we perceive to be negative or flawed traits is really denying the truth of one’s self.   

    Can I really turn flaws into opportunities? 

    What I do know is that you don’t have to hide away your perceived weaknesses. You can, in fact, create opportunities for growth and greater self-love, as well as for connection in your business.  . And I don’t mean just run-of-the-mill “I’m not good at math” flaws. Even past trauma that often leaves insecurities and fears in its wake can also perpetuate a desire to seek and evolve our life to something greater. 

    Melanie Greenberg Ph.D. cites that trauma can have surprisingly positive effects on interpersonal relationships, new possibilities in one’s life, personal strength, spirituality, and garner a new appreciation of life.  

    She says, “Research on posttraumatic growth has also shown that the experience of trauma may lead people into new activities, lifestyles, and/or relationships that make life more meaningful, rich, and satisfying.”  

    The problem with ignoring flaws.

    You end up denying yourself of any learning, healing, or positive change when you ignore parts of yourself that you aren’t proud of or that may have been painful.

    It’s our weaknesses that hold our greatest opportunity for personal growth and connection to self. 

    I have used my own flaws (and Lawd, I have many) as fuel for positive change and motivated me to challenge myself further.  

    The biggest obstacle, of course, is turning weakness into an advantage. To do this, you need to be willing to allow it to rise to the surface, to look at it objectively, and to see hidden opportunity. 

    Bring your flaws to light. 

    Be willing to bring weaknesses to the surface. Suppressing them, hiding them, and ignoring them will never hold healing and doesn’t aid in growth. Examine why you see this experience, behavior, or lack of ability as a flaw. See how it may have led or could lead to something greater in your life. Ask yourself if it really is a flaw at all? Get curious about this part of yourself without being reactive or judgmental. 

    Most importantly, do not continue the pattern of shame and guilt for this part of yourself. Forgive it, forgive yourself, and release it.  

    Ditch your fixed mindset. 

    Instead of looking at your flaws as a great barrier to your life’s happiness (fixed mindset), see them as a way to grow and find new perspectives (growth mindset).   

    “In a fixed mindset, you want to hide your flaws, so you’re not judged or labeled a failure. In a growth mindset, your flaws are just a TO-DO list of things to improve.” — Derek Sivers 

    We are all capable of controlling our own destiny, and to truly realize this, you need to believe that the world around you isn’t fixed. That you are able and capable of taking your weakness, your flaw, your bad experience, even your trauma and turning it into a goldmine of opportunity.  

    Find gratitude. 

    I know you’re rolling your eyes at the gratitude cliché. Not to mention the absurdity of trying to find gratitude for things we have been deeply wounded by or feel great shame over. Stay with me, Susan; I promise there’s something to this. 

    How does one find gratitude to say, sexual trauma? It is possible because I did it. The trauma of sexual abuse took me on a journey of depression, a lack of self-worth, and a lack of respect for who I was for a very long time.  

    As I dug into this flawed part of myself, I began to see these were emotions that I felt during certain moments of my life. But wasn’t who I was. The emotions were a response, not a signal of my inner Being. When I began to associate ME with a feeling no longer, I realized there was more to me than the trauma 

    This experience allowed me to help others heal from their own trauma and not define themselves as what happened.” I began to forge a deeper bond to myself, to Spirit, and even with clients because I was able to get vulnerable and relate to what they were going through while also giving them hope that, like me, they can heal.  

    We all have the ability to turn our flaws into opportunities by sharing our stories, bnot hiding in shame, and empowering ourselves and others to grow and be extraordinary.  

    I know you may be like, so now what? This is what becomes, Your Brand Story, by turning your flaws into opportunities for connection

    You are more than a past story, trauma, or even circumstance. Chance is if you are reading this, you’ve probably overcome a good deal of shit by now in your life. On a good day pretty freaking proud about that too.

    That’s why you continue to follow the desire to have a passionate, purpose-driven business led by the soul. You crave more because you are more and know without a fathom of a doubt you are part of a bigger plan and mission.

    What do your people need most? To know it’s ok to be human is what your stories do. They are a connection point for them to know they are not alone. That you get it, you lived through it, and look at you now. That’s some pretty empowering shit right there, my friend. You may still be going through life as you share past experiences; that’s fine; that makes you even more human and even more relatable.

    You know your audience wants to be more than a number. They may never get to know you personally, but they feel like you do through the content that you deliver. This is when you serve and share rather than come across as, ‘hey, I’m here to sell you this.’ However, you are still “selling” just in an easier more aligned path for you.

    If you need a more walk you through the process of how to develop your story, you may want to check out my mini-course, Your Story, Your Brand, where I walk you through step-by-step to develop this powerful form of marketing of turning your flaws into opportunities to connect to your ideal clients & customers.

    Just know YOU are perfect the way you. You only have to change what you choose to improve, not because anything is wrong with you. There are people waiting for you to show them what you are made of, they want to read your story, hear your voice, and know that there is a way because you show them that way.

    Danielle Aime Intuitive Life and Business Coach
    Grow your spiritual business using your story
    Grow your spiritual business using your story
    Grow your spiritual business using your story
    grow your spiritual business using your story
    grow your spiritual business using your story
    grow your spiritual business using your story

    CONTINUE READING

  • How Self-Forgiveness Can Heal and Bring Peace to You | 4 Step Process

    How Self-Forgiveness Can Heal and Bring Peace to You

    How Self-Forgiveness Can Heal and Bring Peace to You | 4 Step Process


    Ahhh
    , forgiveness. The elusive, seemingly impossible dream. This entire topic is a real bitch, isn’t it? Forgiveness is big area of exploration these days for my clients and a huge part of the equation to finding personal and spiritual freedom. I won’t lie, understanding self-forgiveness is even harder and is the work of a warrior 

    1. What is forgiveness? Is it always necessary to forgive? Who do you forgive first? And how do you start forgiving yourself? These are just a few questions on this monumentally confusing topic that confront us as we move through personal transformation. 

    I know what a confusing mess forgiveness can seem like when you are starting down the road of spiritual awakening, so I’ve created this post as a roadmap to help get you started with understanding the basics of forgiveness and the process of starting where it matters most – yourself. 

    What is forgiveness? 

    The dictionary version of forgiveness is “to cease to feel resentment against”. It’s almost laughably simplistic, isn’t it? As simple as it sounds, there is usually no straight-line path to forgiveness. You don’t start at anger, resentment, and hurt and just walk on over to everything is awesome. If only it were that simple.   

    Forgiveness rather is a container in which you choose to nurture or not. It’s a continuum of moving back and forth through emotions and choices. You know you are within a state of forgiveness when your feelings of anger, hate, or resentment become neutralized. This happens through acceptance of what it was that caused the feelings. 

    Marriage and Family Therapist Andrea Brant says that “by forgiving, you are accepting the reality of what happened and finding a way to live in a state of resolution with it. This can be a gradual process…” 

    You don’t HAVE to feel happy or joyful when thinking about the person you are forgiving, or the parts of yourself you don’t enjoy looking at. But you don’t feel shame, guilt or resentment either. 

    Why is forgiveness important? 

    There is no doubt: forgiveness work can feel like a hot pile of steaming garbage to go through. So, it’s easy to wonder whyintheactualhell you would ever put yourself through it. 

    The reason the work of self-forgiveness is transformative and worth it is because it elevates you to a place of peace in your life. This peace is the catalyst for self-love and allows space for you to begin forgiving others and enhancing your spiritual path. (Use this para as a sharable quote box within the blog to highlight.) 

    Besides inner-peace, the forgiveness of yourself and of others helps us on our spiritual path. It connects us more to ourselves and to others, therefore bringing us to closer alignment with source.  

    The way of the spirit is to embrace life – all of it….we often have the power to transform what is destructive in life. Forgiveness of others, and self, is an act of transformation and a high spiritual path.

    Heather Seguin, Thymewood 

    5 simple steps to end your limiting beliefs

    Where to start. 

    Within personal transformation comes a portion of deeper unveiling of one’s self. We hit certain milestones of release, awareness, and growth to then almost feel as if we are plateauing – or getting stuck at one point of growth. This, in fact, is a signal that you have gotten yourself very close to your core truth. The space just before core truth is where the lies you have about yourself – guilt and shame – reside.  

    This is the point of origin of the unwanted feelings. You are hitting the core of who you really are, and you freeze (plateau) because moving through those feelings is crazy-scary waters! Most people bail at this point and stay stuck in discontentment. This is where understanding self-forgiveness becomes essential to personal wellness and spiritual growth. 

    The anger, the sadness, the depression, the fear – those are the parts of yourself that need forgiveness and love. Forgivyourself for the things you may have done that you’re not proud of and for having so many negative feelings about yourself or your situation.  

    Often, the feelings we have when getting close to our truest self are extraordinarily complex and leave us unsure how to sort them out and process them.   

    How do you forgive feelings that you don’t understand? 

    Those yucky feelings that come up during self-forgiveness work that have you stuck, have embodied you on your journey. They have contributed to your sense of shame, hurt or worthlessness and by being there, have held you captive to staying the same.  

    They initiated to protect you – you have outgrown them once you are at the plateau of feeling stuck. It is here that you need to dawn your warrior attire and begin the work of forgiving yourself in order to move more towards your highest-self 

    The most important person to forgive in life is YOU. 

    To release – to let go – we forgive.  Remember these things as you begin to heal: 

    Know that you have always done the best you could with what you knew, could handle, or were able to accept at the time of these events. Even in your worst moments, when you may have lost control – that was your truth then and that’s what you needed to experience.  

    Thank the experience, love it, forgive it, and let it go. We see these memories as the scars we carrybut they actually give us the ability to rise.  

    Feel those feelings. ALL feelings that arise are important to acknowledge and feel so they can be accepted and forgiven.  

    4 Step Exercise 

    If you are reading this article, you are likely ready to start healing and working on finding inner peace. Doing the exercise below is a great way to start and will help you learn about your feelings, release them and create the inner peace that only self-forgiveness can bring.  

    • Write a letter (or audio record) to the parts of you that you don’t know how to face.  
    • It’s important to really focus on and bring up all the emotions attached to these shadow parts. These emotions can range from anger to sadness to jealousy to remorse.  
    • Go deep to acknowledge that those feelings about yourself exist and let them go by writing: “I forgive myself for all the harm I have caused myself and to others in the past. I forgive myself for ever having had these ugly feelings towards myself, and for punishing myself through self-hatred, guilt, and shame. I now release myself from these feelings and hold myself and all around me to the highest good.” 
    • If possible, do an inner-child meditation and hug yourself deep within. We all have a little girl inside of us just wanting to know that she’s accepted as she is, mistakes and all. 
    danielle aime spiritual teacher intuitive business coach
    How Self-Forgiveness Can Heal and Bring Peace to You
    How Self-Forgiveness Can Heal and Bring Peace to You
    How Self-Forgiveness Can Heal and Bring Peace to You
    How Self-Forgiveness Can Heal and Bring Peace to You
    How Self-Forgiveness Can Heal and Bring Peace to You
    How Self-Forgiveness Can Heal and Bring Peace to You

    CONTINUE READING

  • 6 Ways To Manifest What You Want: End the Frustration of Manifesting

    End the Frustration of Manifesting

    6 Ways To Manifest What You Want: End the Frustration of Manifesting

    “You get what you think about.” Abraham Hicks

    It seems so simple, doesn’t it? Think about something and have it – or its energetic equivalent – manifest into your life. While the concept seems simple, the practice of active manifestation bears many more complications to getting what you want than you are likely able to work through.  

    A lot of the frustration of manifesting comes from the wide array of incorrect or misleading information that now exists on the topic. The truth is, the word ‘manifesting’ has been used and abused in recent years and has now become a money-making scam for many self-proclaimed “gurus” as a way to make a quick buck. 

    Getting what you want comes naturally.

    What most people don’t realize when it comes to “manifesting” is that they have been doing it their whole lives. Yep, even you. From the time we are children, we unconsciously (or consciously) bring experiences or things into our lives through the process of manifestation.  

    Don’t agree?  

    Just ask any parent who’s ever bent to the pressure of buying a toy for their child at the store. 

    The child is set on getting the object of their desire. It may take more than one trip to the store, it may take waiting until their birthday, or it may take getting a less expensive, but equally appealing toy.  

    The point is…they align with a desire, stay persistent with it and their vibrational frequency brings them the equivalent of their desire. Manifesting is the Law of Attraction, which simply means like attracts like. Your vibrational frequency plus human beliefs will equal said desires.  

    Like attracts like: Manifestation defined. 

    Our energy bodies and paths have a lot to do with what we call into our lives and we create vibrations when we create thoughts. The vibrations we create with our thoughts attract like vibrations, hence ‘like attracts like’. If you don’t like what you’re experiencing, all you need to do is change your vibration by changing your thoughts.  

    We live in a world of our own creation and we should speak only such words and think only such thoughts as we wish to see manifest in our lives. We must think only about what we wish to experience. 

    “You are a living magnet. What you attract into your life is in harmony with your dominant thoughts.” Brian Tracy

    Staying present is key. 

    So, what is it that makes manifestation so difficult for some? It’s learning to master your own mind by controlling what you allow it to focus on. Controlling our thoughts takes practice and unending discipline, which is where most people fall off the rails.  

    The best way to start mastering this skill is to remember to stay focused on the present moment. Don’t linger on lost opportunities or past mistakes – and don’t fixate on the worries of tomorrow, inturn helping to ease the frustration of manifesting. 

    Feeling good now is the key to success; living in the present moment. Don’t save your happiness until after the success.  

    Being in the present moment allows you to communicate to the universe that you are right where you need to be, and that you choose to feel good now. YOU create the emotions of satisfaction, happiness, and love, not the situations outside of your control.  

    If you struggle finding acceptance in the present and have trouble stating, “I am right where I need to be”, then you need to work on finding awareness, acceptance, and appreciation for your life.  

    You can do this by finding awareness, acceptance, and appreciation in the things that you feel have pained you or kept you from progressing in life. I like to call this Authentic Internal Response 

    Authentic Internal Response occurs when the “lesson” has been learned by having met the criteria of awareness, acceptance, and appreciation.  

    Focus on what you do have. 

    What’s in the past is in the past. There’s nothing you can do to change it. You can couldawouldashoulda all day long, but doing so won’t alter the outcome or change where you are now.  

    Learn what you need from past events and then let them go. And tomorrow isn’t here yet so why worry about it? Worrying or obsessing won’t prevent things from happening. It’s important to stay in the present because it’s the only part of the time that you have any control over. 

    Choosing to feel good now by acknowledging what you do have signals Universe that you have what you want, and it strives then to deliver more of what you want. Again, like attracts like, ending the frustration of manifesting.   

    Many people believe if you were to feel good where you are now, then you would not go any further because your satisfaction would make you stuck in the current state. Au contraire, my friend! The simple thought of acceptance and appreciation for where you are has the power to manifest grander things into your life and catapult you to where you long to be 

    When one is ok with where they are, that means they can find gratitude and appreciation in what lies around them, therefore signifying to the universe, ‘Wow, I love feeling this way. I love life; it’s beautiful. Bring me more please.’ The Universe loves to please you by delivering what you want. However, you need to make sure you are telling it what you want as opposed to telling it what you don’t want 

    Think about this example: 

    You are in such a financial hole that you have no idea how you will pay your rent much less anything else that is due that month. Now instead of focusing on the lack and worry that most of us default to, try signifying to the Universe that you feel good where you are.  

    It is you saying, ‘I sehow much I do have. I have a roof over my head at this present moment. I have life. I have the ability to see, to hear, to feel, to express myself, to desire more.’ You have endless amounts of things to be grateful for, all you need to do is change your focus to see them.   

    In this light you’re no longer telling the Universe, ‘Debt, debt, debt, please bring me more.’ You are instead sending out the vibration of “I have so much, please bring me more.’ If debt is your biggest struggle in life, then my Money Mindset course may help you.  

    Rewire your thoughts. 

    Read this statement or write it down 10 times or until the lightbulb goes off:  

    FOCUS ON WHAT IS GOING RIGHT IN YOUR LIFE BEFORE YOU FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT TO HAVE.   

    The present thought is so crucial and imperative if you’re tired of the frustration of manifesting not happening in your favor. It helps to be consciously aware of what you are saying to your brain so you can feed it the thoughts that amplify manifestation. Read or write down this next statement 20 times each day until you really feel it and believe it. 

    I am right where I need to be. 

    When you get yourself into this mindset, things around you become much easier and dare I say magical.  

    Detach from immediacy. 

    The counter-intuitive factor at play is what’s meant for you to have and when. Occasionally we can be quite hasty and very impatient beings; we like to see results yesterday. It can be hard to wait for the outcome, but again, don’t allow your impatient thoughts to take over and create resistance to your desires.   

    Think of it like this: If life was always one way and you got anything you wanted with a snap of a finger without any effort or desire, life would be so redundant and systematic with zero perspectives.  

    Life is full of contrasts and lessons, and if it weren’t so, it would be boring AF. I don’t know about you, but I’ll take a life of contrasts with all the painful downs so I can also experience the beautiful ups over redundant and boring any day 

    Getting what you want in life shouldn’t be an almighty struggle. Focus on the good, consciously rewire your thought pattern and be patient. If you can do just this, you will capture the art of manifestation.  

    Danielle Aime Intuitive Life and Business Coach

    CONTINUE READING

  • 4 Ways To Make Learning Self-Love & Discovery Not Be So Damn Awkward

    Learning Self-Love & Self-Discovery

    4 Ways To Make Learning Self-Love & Discovery Not Be So Damn Awkward

    Not only is self-love a foreign concept for most, but the idea of self-love can also feel uncomfortable AF. I mean think about it; is there anything else more intimate than the idea of self-love? Going inward and giving your mind, your spirit and your body all the attention, care, and affection you would normally reserve for the others in your life isn’t a concept we’ve grow up becoming accustomed to.

    Self-Love isn’t a Fad Diet

    Once you’ve wrapped your mind around the idea that this intimacy with yourself is non-negotiable and necessary to live a fulfilled life, you need to start taking the (sometimes painfully) awkward steps that will get you there.

    We haven’t exactly been raised with a self-love guidebook to help us along. In fact, the entire idea of it hasn’t really been openly talked about until the last decade or so. Despite its newness, the self-love revolution that’s slowly taking hold in the world isn’t a fad. It’s a spiritual awakening to a very life-affirming necessity that has been stripped of us for centuries.

    When you think about the traditional school’s focus on high grades to “get a good job”, television commercials and ads with “must-have” messages voiced over utopic images of happy people doing happy things with their happy smiles, and iconic literature like the Great Gatsby that literally revolves around glorifying one man’s idea of greatness through material illusions, it’s easy to recognize we have been coerced to believe that only things of external value create true happiness. It’s a total fucking sham. And the lies are finally coming home to roost.

    Step into Self-Love Consciousness

    Waking up to the fact that every value you’ve built your life around is a sham, designed to keep you an unconscious prisoner of life is often shocking and painful. It’s tough to recognize external validation for the steaming hot cup of bullshit it is, but it’s also empowering.

    I found that there is only one thing that heals every problem, and that is: to know how to love yourself. – Louise Hay

    Hyper-focusing on the external things you desire; people, money, business, etc., are reflections of the voids inside of yourself. Skipping over your internal voids keeps you unconscious to the internal turmoil that has you always searching, always longing, and always unfulfilled.

    How do you find self-love? You dig. You isolate and you ache from being lonely. You heal. You accept. You look in the mirror and see the Universe. – Danielle Aime

    Learning Self-Love is the Epicenter of a Fulfilled Life

    Your deep, internal self is where the magic happens. If your internal self is dark, full of shame, guilt, self-blame, or is in any way being rejected or ignored, nothing you do or have in your life will bring you peace.

    On the flip-side, if your internal self is connected to your consciousness, loved, honored, and nurtured, your whole life turns around. You are then able to not only create the external life that you want, but you can enjoy the external results that come from internal love and connection.

    How much you love yourself is what determines your fulfillment in life. -Danielle Aime

    Shine from Within Through Acceptance

    When you love yourself exactly as you are, you begin to shine from within. Your external environment becomes a beautiful life, adorned with all the things you thought you had to start with to make you happy. Ironically, it’s the internal acceptance that creates that visual of external results you’ve been looking for.

    If you aren’t familiar with HOW to love yourself, you’re not alone. Self-love is often simplified down to a hot bath or a relaxing massage. These are nice things to do for yourself, but they skip over the internal work that’s required to achieve self-love and put you back where you are most comfortable: external devices! It feels good at the moment, but when you get out of the tub, you go right back to a life with more pain, fear, and struggle than you want or is necessary.

    To achieve self-love, you’re going to have to dig deep and learn how to become fully present to yourself. This means the discomfort of exploring your truest-self, understanding who she really is, what she really needs, and then showering her with the attention and acceptance she needs. Only then can something like a hot bath be relevant to loving yourself.

    The Maverick Blueprint for Self-Love If you know me at all, then you’ll know I don’t do anything by-the-book. I am a self-professed Spiritual Maverick and I work with clients who have that burning desire to step outside the comfort zone of what society deems as normal. The blueprint below shows you how to start learning self-love through self-exploration, acceptance, and healing.

    Stop Comparing!

    Susie may manifest more in her life simply because her self-worth confidence love meter in that sector of her life is full – YOURS is not. Accept that you are not Susie, you are you. Find awareness inside of yourself and you will find the answers to your life that you desire deep within.

    Accept where you are at with loving yourself.

    It’s ok for it to feel weird about soulfully exploring yourself. Don’t make it worse by being hard on yourself for not feeling like a divine goddess through it all. No one learns self-love in a week.

    That hesitation that comes up is your ego-signal trying to keep you comfortable and in the same place. Push through that discomfort and see what’s on the other side. Allow for mistakes and don’t judge the feelings that will bubble up by going inward.

    Identify internal voids you may be trying to fill through external sources/validations.

    This can be effing hard to do on your own. My previous blog about Inner Work talks about my own struggles with it and outlines the ways I recommend exploring your inner-self.

    Take action to heal.

    You can start to implement some self-care routines as a part of self-love. But be certain you aren’t just doing something because someone says it’s a nice thing to do for yourself. You want to purposely and consciously move forward in such a way that serves you and nourishes your spirit.

    Honestly, this doesn’t have to be hard. Simple things like 15 minutes of guided meditation, taking a walk to clear your mind, or practicing mirror work are simple and cost-effective ideas. Play around with this, make it fun, and only do what feels good.

    Learning self-love is a continuous practice, be gentle, give grace and grow.

    CONTINUE READING

  • How to Overcome Shame and Take Back Your Power and Worth

    How to Overcome Shame and Take Back Your Power and Worth

    How to Overcome Shame and Take Back Your Power and Worth

    You are worthy.  

    Just reading those words on the page can send you into an uncomfortable squirm, can’t they?  

    I know, I know...I hear all the time from clients about how they may feel worthy ‘over here’ in their life, but not ‘over there.’ They can’t really see how wonderful they are. Despite their successes and commitment to personal growth, they still focus on their past mistakes.  

    When guilt over the past and judgments from others seep into every part of your life, you start to believe you are not enough. And so, the cycle begins to overcome shame.  

    Hey, I get it. I used to be like this too. But I let go of my own cycle of shame long ago and learned to embrace my worth. This was a key factor to my own awakening and becoming the best, most real version of myself I could be. 

    What is Shame? 

    Externally, shame can look like a lot of different things: anger, fear, guilt, low confidence, silence. Many people think guilt and shame are, in fact, interchangeable, but they are not. Shame goes beyond guilt. 

    Guilt comes from feeling bad about something you’ve done that you feel was wrong. It’s about feeling terrible about a behavior. Shame is believing that your very being is wrong.  

    Shame is really a form of spiritual suicide. By believing that your being is wrong, you slowly kill your sense of intrinsic worth. By not feeling worthy, you are detached from your soul-self, and you feel empty, lost, and afraid. It’s lonely as hell. 

    Your past does not define you. 

    Look, I lose my shit sometimes. I’ve blown up on my son or my husband more than once. I’ve had clients who frustrate the living daylights out of me, then be ashamed of myself that I was feeling that way when I should know better as a coach.  

    Do I feel bad about it when I eff up? Absolutely. But I have come to accept that we all have emotions. We all have bad days. I have learned that it does not serve my clients or me one bit to allow the guilt over a less-than-desirable behavior to turn into the shame that keeps me paralyzed in unworthiness. 

    I realized had to love myself enough to forgive myself, release it and keep moving forward towards my highest good. That was the first step behind not allowing guilt from a mistake to morph into shame for being who I am. 

    Why do some people feel more shame than others? 

    Often, the seeds of shame are planted in childhood. If you grew up in an environment that was emotionally abusive or neglectful your chances of carrying intense shame are higher.   

    Any environment that makes you feel unworthy, inferior, or just plain “not enough” will cause you to feel shame if you are exposed to it long enough. Other ways shame can start to take over your life is through mental illness or trauma that are left untreated and unhealed.  

    It’s interesting to note that men and women respond to shame differently.  Psychologist Krystalynn Salters-Pedneault, Ph.D., says, “…men with shame-based low self-esteem tend to “act out” through anger and violent behavior toward others, and women to “act in” by turning their feelings inward and hating themselves.”  

    How to rid yourself of the cycle of shame. 

    Regret will bring you nothing. Bashing yourself will never take back the past. Allow the acknowledgment that you are a beautiful being experiencing life in all its contrasts

    Talk about it 

    Well, known shame researcher and author Brene Brown says shame cannot survive being spoken. Talk about a mic-drop.  

    The first thing we want to do when we feel guilt or embarrassment is keeping it silent. This produces wonderful conditions for that feeling to fester and intensify from internal self-talk.  

    Airing it out, giving it the light of day, and practicing vulnerability will release it from inside you and give it nowhere else to grow, which i find to be the easiest way to let go and overcome shame 

     

    Don’t feel bad about your success.  

    It’s easy to see how negative circumstances and behaviors can lead to shame. Surprisingly, so can success and good fortune For instance, when I got to the point of no longer struggling financially, had no debt, and great income, I would feel intense shame when people in my family talked about their struggles. 

    One researcher suggests that if you start going down the path of negative self-talk, dismiss it and switch to the positive, motivating “Voice of Intelligence”. The voice of intelligence is the affirming thoughts or phrases that are usually buried under your thoughts of shame.  

    He suggests keeping a list of phrases on your smartphone or desk calendar for easy reference when needed, so you don’t need to try and come up with them on-the-spot. 

    Don’t beat yourself up because of your struggle.  

    Remember that no matter where you are or what you’ve done, nothing is set in stone.  

    I used to be a whole lotta things – and I wouldn’t label them as anything to be proud of. Depressive train-wreck, negative-Nelly, food binger, living above my means, fake, buying my happiness, not telling the whole story, you name it. For a time, I was lost. And I carried intense shame about it.  

    What did I do to heal that history? Grace.

    I gave myself – and that lost girl – grace. I realized that version of me wasn’t broke because she didn’t make enough. She was broke because she didn’t believe she was enoughSpending and filling my life with things was the only tool I knew at the time to try and fill that void of ‘enoughness.’   

    Now when I think of that time, how far I have come, and how much I have learned I feel proud. I know had to be that version of myself to become this version of myself. It was part of my soul’s journey and it was the experience that I required to learn about grace. 

    We get the chance EVERY SINGLE DAYEVERY SINGLE HOUR, to start anew. To change, through free will and choice. Don’t let shame rob you of that choice. Release yourself from the past and move your life forward; you CAN overcome shame.  

    danielle aime spiritual teacher intuitive business coach

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  • Mom guilt, it’s a real thing: Here Are 3 Ways To Help Overcome Guilt

    Mom guilt, it’s a real thing: Here Are 3 Ways To Help Overcome Guilt

    Mom guilt, it’s a real thing: Here Are 3 Ways To Help Overcome Guilt

    Why is mom guilt even a thing?

    We live in a society that is grossly obsessed with perfection. Perfect body, perfect hair, perfect career path, perfect kids – and most of all – perfect women. Women face extraordinary pressure to maintain all of the above and more….well….perfectly. This obsession with perfection isn’t conducive to trying to banish mom guilt, but rather, it perpetuates it. 

    The delightful kicker here is that despite society’s generalized idea of perfection, there are also endless double-standards and conflicting ideals that make it even harder for moms to live-up to everyone’s expectations of how they raise their children. 

    Expectations cause pressure. Pressure creates misalignment. Misalignment results in guilt. 

    Calling out the bullshit.

    I’m calling out these impossible standards right here and now, and I invite you to kick their ass to the curb with me. Unrealistic and decidedly boring expectations of ‘perfection’ are just one more way society is set up to keep you feeling small. 

    First things first: You are not just a mom, or a wife, or an employee or a business owner. You are an extraordinary Being with purpose. Those other things are labels to describe your physical circumstances. They do not represent the essence of your soul. They aren’t YOU.

    By being connected to your inner-self, you truly know yourself and the expectations of others begin to slide off you, reducing the feeling of pressure. As a mother, you can then start to make decisions for your kids and go through your day based on your true Being. This puts you closer to or in the space of alignment. Guilt does not exist within the alignment.

    How common is mom guilt?

    There’s a hella lotta guilty moms out there. 

    And guess what?? There are loads of ways that regular mom guilt can be supersized. Yayyyy…

    For example, single moms have extremely high rates of guilt. MAD props to you women – I don’t know how the eff you guys do it. I sometimes experience huge “I’m gonna lose it” stress when my husband leaves for over 24 hours at the firehouse. If that can get rough for me, I can’t imagine it day-in, day-out.

    Let’s not forget that shaming is still a real thing that exists for stay at home moms, which substantially increases feelings of guilt. Guilt over not contributing to household income and buying into the judgments of others that they somehow “have it easier” than working moms adds to feeling ‘not enough’.

    On the other hand, working moms are plagued with guilt, too. See, there’s extra guilt for everybody! No mom left behind! Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. It seems no matter what you do, it’s not good enough for anyone. 

    The prognosis for relieving mom guilt is bad here, I know. But I promise you, Linda, there is a way out of the shitty guilt spiral that society thrusts in your face at every turn.

    end your limiting beleifs

    How To Banish Mom Guilt.

    As I’ve talked about before, self-love and honoring yourself comes from choosing yourself first. If you want to get off the mom guilt-train, you need to learn to love yourself from the inside and put that into practice especially as a mom.

    When you get deep into self-love, you connect with your truest, highest version of yourself and you become confident in the knowledge that you are enough. 

    “FFS, Danielle. I’m a mom. How the hell am I supposed to get all deep and self-lovey while dealing with a screaming toddler and baby barf all day long?”

    I’m glad you asked, Linda – I’ve got you covered. 

    • Practice self-compassion like your life depends on it (it kinda does). 

    This literally takes no extra time – it takes discipline. Self-compassion is described as the capacity to be kind and accepting toward yourself, and willing to forgive your fumbles and imperfections. You can achieve this by changing your internal dialogue as you go about your day. 

    From: “I am a total shit for yelling at him so much today.”

    To: “I know that’s not my normal. I did the best I could on a monumentally hard day.”

    From: “I’m failing. I can’t keep up with all this. I SUCK at momming.”

    To: “Today was tough. No wonder, I am running on 3 hours of sleep.”

    • Doing something just for YOU.

    As moms, there is a lot of pressure and guilt associated with whether we should do things for ourselves or not – because ya know Aunt Barbra has a big-ass mouth and will say you’re selfish if you take a weekend away for yourself. 

    Aunt Barbara be damned, be an amazing role model to your kids anyway by choosing yourself first sometimes and not being your own afterthought. Teach your daughter that society has created some major stigmas on mommas and show her how you’re rewriting those stories for yourself – and for her. 

    • Don’t be shy to ask for help.

    Need a hand? Cue the pride factor!! 

    Asking for help: It’s. So. Hard.

    Look, I get it. We have 4367 things to do in a day as mothers, but we must remember how important it is to have help bringing that number down. Now, don’t going asking for support from Aunt Barbara – or even your own mother – if you know it’s going to come with a side order of shame-bolstering judgments on your parenting style. 

    Seek support from friends and family who you know will help you without the side-eye. If you aren’t blessed with that currently in your life, find ways to connect to other mothers in community groups, join mom meet-ups or hire out help. 

    Even 2 hours of help a week can really make a difference. It’s not easy to build a village if you don’t already have one in place, but it’s worth it and necessary. 

    Be the best version of yourself so you can be the best version of mom to them.

    danielle aime spiritual teacher intuitive business coach

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  • How to Manifest Your Best Life by Controlling Your Emotions

    How to Manifest Your Best Life
    How to Manifest Your Best Life by Controlling Your Emotions

    If you spend two minutes in the online spiritual space, you’re likely to come across the widely used and misunderstood topic of manifestation. Spend more than a few months trying it out and you’re likely to require a rubber room for all your confusion, frustration, and mental exhaustion. This is because the notion of feelings-based manifestation is not widely known or practiced.

    Manifestation is THE mammoth emotional hell roller-coaster of all spiritual practices. There are thousands of manifestation experts out there claiming they have the ONE way to beat all ways for ensuring you receive everything you desire. Yet they seldom work for more than a handful of people.

    Are these so-called experts all frauds? No, but for the most part, they are trying to explain a complex and often life-long study into a simple, one-size-fits-all answer. This then promotes a false idea of instant success and gratification.

    Feelings-based manifestation, your own way.

    As much of a complete mindfuckery practicing manifestation can be, there is something you can do (besides crying into a bottle of shiraz) that will dramatically increase your likelihood of success. That is to practice FEELING into your desires. To be more precise, it’s your emotional energy that plays the biggest role in all manifestation.

    “There is only one way, your way.” Danielle Aime 

    The process for how you get to that emotional state might be very personal, and there are many proven techniques, but it all comes back to finding what works for you to get your emotions to the state they need to be for your desires to materialize.

    Change your feelings, change your vibration.

    Feelings-based manifestation is a very simple concept, but we make it hard by over-complicating how to do it.

    “Negative emotions are like unwelcome guests. Just because they show up on our doorsteps doesn’t mean they have a right to stay.”
    Deepak Chopra 

    Our thoughts and feelings emit a vibrational frequency. Vibration is a Universal language and every being in the Universe speaks it fluently whether they know it or not. We don’t learn how to speak vibrations. They are the emotional energy that we naturally transmit to everyone and everything around us through our feelings. The biggest emitter of vibrations are thoughts, which is why it is imperative to get ahold of your limiting beliefs so you can switch your emotional energy into the vibrational frequency of your desire.

    Feel all the feels.

    Feeling a wide range of emotions is part of our everyday life. But so is not feeling our emotions. Many of us stuff down unwanted feelings to avoid feeling the pain or grief associated with them, turning feelings into core beliefs about ourselves and the world that lower our energetic vibration.

    When you become paralyzed by feelings you then begin living a reactive life; you are reacting to things as they happen. Then you hurry to stuff the feelings down to avoid prolonging the discomfort until the next unpleasant situation occurs, leaving the unresolved feelings to lurk there just beneath the surface and form your core beliefs.

    This emotional-based living equals a slow drip of anesthetic. All feelings should be felt, but it’s how you process the thoughts behind your feelings that change your vibrational frequency.

    The secret behind manifesting is not getting locked into the dreadful feelings that occur when bad things happen. Instead, acknowledge those feelings and then immerse yourself in the thoughts and feelings of having what you desire.

    Choose your feelings, choose your life.

    Your life is a mirror and what you are experiencing in the physical reflects what you have become internally; you emit it out. This is usually a hard pill to swallow and many get defensive because they can’t fathom that they are a part of the events unfolding in their life.

    But what if I turned that same concept around and told you that you can control and change what’s happening around you? Does that feel better? More empowering?

    When we choose to change the way we feel, we allow a much grander thing to unfold. We impose a change upon the entire world. Literally, one small feeling can radiate out into the Universe, creating a ripple effect that begins to shift humanity into something better.

    The world around us is mirroring humanity in its current vibrational state. The motto ‘what you focus on grows’ is a literal interpretation of reality. Let’s sum this up into a more digestible statement: change the way you feel – you create change upon the Universe. This, in turn, buys you even more time to change the things inside you to then have even more positive experiences around you.

    Remember the world is your mirror. The mirror in which shows you through people what you need changes, who you desire to be, who you deny you are. The more toxicity in human thought, the more of a cesspool the world really is.

    Lean into the feelings of having your desires.

    Now that you have identified core beliefs that are holding your back and understand the connection between internal feelings and vibrational frequency, you are ready to feel as if you already have what you are asking the Universe to give you. Feel the feelings you would have if you already lived in the home of your dreams, if you already shared your life with your perfect partner, or if you were already financially free.

    Here’s an example of practicing feelings-based manifestation:

    Limiting Belief: I’ve always been poor. Therefore, I’ll never be able to pay off my bills. (Vibrational frequency tells the Universe: You are poor and you can’t pay your bills.)

    New Choice: I’ve always been poor, and that sucked. But I did my best with what I knew at the time. I know I can turn it around because I am learning, and I am worthy of having everything I

    desire – just like everyone else is. (Vibrational frequency shifts into: I have hope. I can. I am deserving.)

    Lean into Feelings of Paying Bills with Ease: Now you imagine going to the mailbox and only receiving surprise parcels and unexpected cheques. Feel the joy, the comfort, and the fun associated with that. When you find coins on the ground, focus on the feeling of how easy abundance just shows up in your life. Make common occurrences become something extraordinary.

    Focus on what it feels like to be so incredibly financially abundant. Feel what it feels like to enjoy the freedom that comes with doing, buying, giving, receiving, going wherever you please whenever you please, and knowing that you are worthy of it all.

    Shift to this space as many times as you can throughout your days to re-program your mindset and establish a new baseline for receiving.

    Vibrational energy is contagious.

    Understand the relationship between non-physical force and the physical world. There is a non-physical power within us that brings whatever heals our bodies and minds and even brings peace to the earth. By controlling our minds and regulating our feelings, we awaken the possibilities and we invite them to become the overlay that we experience. When you move the limiting beliefs out of the way and debunk them, you open up a window inside yourself to feel differently, to allow more in, and to buy into the feeling of what it is you desire, as if it was here at this very moment.

    If you continue to just ignore and walk away from conquering the low vibrational energy of your core beliefs of self, you will continue to attract into your life everything you don’t want, because that is where your focus and feeling continues to be.

    danielle aime spiritual teacher intuitive business coach

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