SOUL

  • 3 Lifesavers to Soothe Pain and Judgement During Your Spiritual Awakening

    3 Lifesavers to Soothe Pain and Judgement During Your Spiritual Awakening

    3 Lifesavers to Soothe Pain and Judgement During Your Spiritual Awakening

    We all know what coming of age “should” look like Graduate high school, go to college, get married, take out a mortgage, have 2.6 kids…you know the drill. Most of us succumb to living up to the expectations of our family and the people that we’ve built relationships with, without really examining at all if what we are doing is what we really want for ourselves and our life.

    Fast forward a decade or two and what happens? People get depressed. They get anxious. They get frustrated, bored, and discontented with their mediocre life. Unfulfilled by living out the expectations of others and no clue what to do about it.

    It’s at this crossroad that our spiritual journey often begins, but it comes with no shortage of challenges. Perhaps the hardest being those you love who judge your spiritual awakening.

    Judgement is Born from Dissonance

    Why do we do this? Why do we go through so much of our lives unconscious to ourselves? Why do we care so much about fitting in, that we don’t even think about who we really are, or what we really want?

    Generally speaking, people are just trying to blend in. To fit in with conventional wisdom so as to avoid feeling uncomfortable or making anyone else feel uncomfortable. This is called Cognitive Dissonance.

    Cognitive dissonance is described by psychology expert Kendra Cherry as the feelings of discomfort that result when your beliefs run counter to your behaviors or to new information that is presented to you. It’s the discomfort of having two conflicting thoughts and the urge to make that discomfort go away that leads to one of two things:

    Doing things the way everyone else does or pissing them off by doing it your way.

    The former results in the comfort of feeling accepted by blending into societal norms and culture. The latter results in feeling the discomfort that inevitably comes with personal growth and development.

    If you choose door number 2, the conflict that can occur with those around you happens because they are now in a state of cognitive dissonance. You are presenting them with new information that is counter to their own beliefs and behaviors.

    To be frank, it can come as quite a shock to your loved ones if everything you’ve ever been is suddenly turned on its ass. Nonetheless, it can be painful when they judge your spiritual awakening. Remember their discontent isn’t personal, even if it’s being projected on to you that way. It’s coming from their deep-rooted psychological desire to not feel uncomfortable – to be like everyone else.

    The Downside of Dissonance

    Throughout spiritual growth, you will experience the effects of dissonance. Your uncovered beliefs and your new behaviors and way of being will feel deeply empowering and liberating. But your external environment and the people in it will remain exactly as they were before your spiritual growth spurt, leaving you feeling isolated.

    To add to that, the people you were once close to might become unbearable to be around. You will feel judged by those you confide in for your new way of thinking. You might feel alienated and wonder how things could change so fast. Did these people ever care about me??

    It helps to know where the judgment comes from

    Dissonance is psychologically powerful, and we will do almost anything to avoid feeling it. So, when others are judging you and you feel the pain of their rejection, it’s helpful to know they are simply responding to the discomfort of their own cognitive dissonance. For most people, the fastest way to reduce their dissonance is to reject what’s making them uncomfortable. In this case, it just happens to be you and your spiritual awakening.

    You see, dissonance is really the fancy word for ego. Our ego’s first goal is to keep us feeling comfortable, therefore maintaining the guise of safety. If people are judging you harshly – even rejecting you – it’s because their ego is running the show. They are unable to accept your differences because they are unaware of their own ego’s attempt at keeping them feeling “safe”.

    How to handle it when people judge your spiritual awakening

    I notice with many of my clients that once they open the floodgates of who they really are, the people in their life take notice. And it usually isn’t pretty. They begin to get very caught up in, “But so and so doesn’t like me now…” or “She told me I’m being crazy…” or “My best friend stopped talking to me.”

    Take a stance for yourself, not what the majority rules to be right.

    But here’s the thing I respond to my clients with, and it’s what I want you to remember more than anything:

    Is this your life, or theirs?

    When they are on their death bed do you think they are thinking of the things you did in life or the things they did?

    Your awakening is a beautiful thing, but it will very likely come with some ugly moments. Harsh truth. So how can you handle the major relationship shifts you will almost assuredly experience through exposing the core beliefs about who you really are to others?

    5 simple steps to end your limiting beliefs

    Be brave.

    At the end of the day, you gotta do you, boo! What do you feel in your heart? What do you leak from your soul? It’s in there, you just need to be brave enough to let it out.

    For example, it wasn’t that long ago I remember having an anxiety attack after being on Periscope for 3 minutes. I’m talking sweating like a mofo, voice shaking, perfect hair and makeup, and taking forever to even hit the “live” button.

    Those of you that follow me know that I am now completely comfortable on live streams. In fact, I prefer posting videos to my YouTube Channel more than any other type of content. (Also, I generally don’t give AF about hair and make-up anymore.)

    When I started, I was scared. I was scared about what people would think about little-old-me having the hutzpah to talk like an expert online. I was scared of judgment, scared of rejection, and especially scared about the people I know seeing me do my thing! That was my cognitive dissonance popping up to say hi.

    My engrained belief was that I was not worthy and not smart enough to be speaking publicly. It wasn’t normal in my circles to talk online or to be an ‘expert’ on anything. The new belief that I was coming around to finally honoring was that actually, I was fucking awesome and I should be helping others. I had a choice in how to remove the dissonance: stay the same and reinforce the old belief pattern to keep everyone comfy or go live and align with the fact that I was indeed awesome.

    Give yourself (and others) grace.

    So, whatever it is; spirituality, changing careers, changing genders, it helps to know and remember why people do the things they do.

    The harsh truth that in life there’s always going to be people who don’t like you, who turn their backs on you or flat-out reject you can be quelled with the knowledge that really, we are all wired to avoid feeling like we don’t belong and will do almost anything to eliminate it.

    What matters is that you are happy at a soul-level. That you are striving to embody the highest version of yourself. Take it one step at a time. And give yourself my favorite word that I learned for myself a few years back: GRACE.

    Allow yourself to change, to start something and decide it’s not for you, to fall flat on your ass, to not make 6-figures in 30 seconds or less, and to look like you walk a runway on your first live stream. Allow what is truly you to emerge with grace, and consider the judgments a sign that you are getting closer to her.

    If you need a hand, I’m here to help you navigate this journey and unveil your soul’s longing.

    danielle aime spiritual teacher intuitive business coach

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  • 3 Mistakes Keeping You From Living a Life of Joy

    3 Mistakes keeping you from living a life of joy

    3 mistakes keeping you from living a life of joy

    I’m gonna cut the shit and let this cat out of the bag right off the bat: I’m no Marie Kondo, and not everyone who reads this post will find joy. #sorrynotsorry  [watch her show-read her book]

    This post isn’t a magic joy pill. (In fact, there is no pill, even if you wanted one.)  

    You see, YOU already are the change you wish to be. You are awesome and limitless. You are your own guide, your chooser, the leader of your journey. Yep, I called you a leader even if you don’t buy it. I’m here to show you how to unveil all of this, believe it, and run with it so you can live a life of epic joy. But you need to be willing to do the work and make the change. 

    What you will learn from this post is knowing the silver lining in your life already exists and how to find it. Achieving pure JOY in your life? Well, it can take a while for the general ‘Joe human’ to get there, but I’m here to help and this guide is the starting point. 

    The first step towards any change is awareness. This guide will bring you to a place of awareness that you are NOT mediocre and that awesome, limitless joy is within you.  

    Change isn’t a one-and-done event. Instead, it is a rinse and repeat thing. The more you do it and the more you smack yourself on the ass and tell yourself to get it together, the more magical and joyous life becomes. You’ll be surprised to know that some of the greatest changes you will ever experience will come from the simplest choices you make.  

    I wrote this post for you because I truly wanted to create something for people that would give you the opportunity to change the course of your life. Whether or not we ever meet again, I hope you choose yourself today and choose the work of finding and living a life of joy

    Now, grab yourself a beverage, and let’s dive into the 3 big mistakes that block joy, so you can start to find the true, long-lasting joy you’ve been craving.  

    1. Not living in the NOW.  

    Most people live each day only seeing, thinking, OBSESSING over what needs to be done or happen for them to feel better. Worse yet, lots of people feel they are quitting or settling if they DON’T focus their thoughts on these things.  

    Here’s a secret that changed the course of my life: accepting where you are is ok and brings you further in life and closer to joy.  

    3 mistakes keeping you from living a life of joy | danielle aime | spiritual teacher

    Accepting where you are and who you are right now means that you are in love with the broke, divorced, single, cute but psycho, slightly OCD self. The wrinkles, the pudge, the not so fancy car, the tiny house…all of it.  

    When you can look at your bank account that’s missing a couple of zeros and still, without hesitation, breathe out in the knowing it’s all going to be ok, you are one giant step closer to living a life of joy. 

    In the very moment you are facing doubt or self-criticism about where you are, choose to send out into the Universe that “I am happy, I am whole, I create my reactions, and I CHOOSE how to respond.”  

    Being in the now also includes gratitude for what you have and where you are right now. “I choose to find gratitude in life.” “My bank account is low…BUT there is food to eat, gas to fuel the car and hey, I even have the ability to view my bank account because of this awesome electronic device I’m holding.” 

    2. Looking at everyone else’s life.  

    Man, this one right here?  It’s a DOOZY of a mistake. Yet it’s the most common form of sabotaging yourself from joy.  Where do I even begin? I feel you rolling your eyes at me, about to point your finger and say “yeah, but…”  

    Look Linda, everyone does this. It’s human nature to observe what we perceive others having and wish we had it too. But believing the grass is always greener is basing your joy on a total sham. The extent to which you compare yourself to others holds you back from appreciating your amazing journey. 

    The only life you get to live is yours. Not your mom’s, cousin Kim’s, or Amanda’s down at Sephora with the on-point brows. Their lives may be incredibly awesome, but none of them have anything to do with your life. So why does it matter?  
     
    We all come from different upbringings, have different personalities, shapes, sizes, and capacities of willpower. I urge you to source ideas and inspiration from your environment and external factors, but don’t define and compare your life by what it “lacks” as you compare it to another. Don’t let it strip you down to feeling you didn’t do things right, or don’t have enough of whatever it is “they” have. 
     
    Society paints a pretty narrow picture of what success looks like. Ask yourself the questions below and free write what really comes up for you. There is no wrong answer, so don’t overthink it. Be really honest with yourself and you may be surprised what comes up.

    Side note of inspiration:  

    What does (insert your name) want?
    What do I like?
    What choices have led me to where I am today?
    What can I do now to appreciate where I am?
    What does where I am now, help me to get in the future?

    Use the things that you see as “lack” to inspire appreciation of what’s to come. We all start somewhere, and when you take the time to appreciate what it is that you do have right now, energetic doors start to open for more of your desires to manifest.  

    Still, scraping the bottom of your brain for something to appreciate? Start with the most basic thing: You have life. You have the ability to breathe in this very moment and to make choices to EMPOWER your life that can change your destiny to the greatness you want it to be. 

    3. Lack of love & forgiveness. 

    At this point, I would assume you get what we are doing here. Yes, ladies, we are adding a sprinkle of Mary Poppins onto your life. Everyone can add these sprinkles to their life – including you. 
     
    So even though shit happened,  you slept with people that should have never breathed the same air as you, quit things when you felt you should have kept going, married the wrong person, spent too much money, gained too much weight…it doesn’t matter. 
     
    Even if you checked every single box above YOU ARE FUCKING phenomenal. Why do I know this? Because after all that shit, here you are still trying to love yourself a bit more and appreciate your life with a bit more grace. That takes so much courage, tenacity, and vulnerability. High five and hugs to you my lady friend. High five and hugs.  
     
    Know this: You have been doing the best you can with what you have had or could handle at the time.  

    Case and Point: Me, 7 years ago. I was a complete TRAIN WRECK. And you better believe I still have my “Cute but psycho” moments to this day. But my God, do I love my life now. And am so fulfilled.  

    Even with the toddler snacks crushed behind the car seat and the couch that’s turned into an unfolded laundry depository. I’m still full of joy because I have learned the most important element to achieve it; loads of self-love and self-forgiveness. I’m still human y’all, living a life of joy, is consciously choosing to live in that place. I have to CHOOSE, and I don’t always – I have bad days too.

    5 simple steps to end your limiting beliefs

    There are countless ways to learn to forgive your past transgressions and light yourself up. Here are some easy ways to get yourself started. 

    1. Mantra to cut out (or tattoo on your forehead):  

    I AM RIGHT WHERE I NEED TO BE. 

    Repeat this everyday as much as you can. Repeat it until you are sick of it and then repeat it some more. Repeat it until you BELIEVE it. And then for sure repeat it some more. 

    1. Right now, in this very moment, write down 5 things that you need so badly to change in your life. The 5 things that royally suck and make you want to start throwing punches at someone.  

    Now, take those 5 horrid, asshole things and write a brief letter to each one. Tell each thing why it’s been a blessing to have them in your life. Why you are grateful for them. This includes things like what have you been taught, what do you now realize about yourself, what did it inspire you to want to have/be? 

    Danielle Aime Intuitive Life and Business Coach

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  • How to create the life you desire: make manifesting easy

    How to create the life you desire: make manifesting easy

    How to create the life you desire: make manifesting easy

    Do you ever wonder how some people make manifesting look so easy, while you stay stuck in an endless cycle of frustration and disappointment? It’s very likely you are jumping over what is most needed in order to manifest like a boss.  manifesting your desires

    If you want to move forward in your manifesting game, focus on mindset before manifestation

    Many people start their manifestation process at affirmations, but they haven’t developed the mindset to support them. Mindset is so much deeper than saying a positive phrase repeatedly and expecting to change the entire dynamic of your life.  

    Mindset is the most critical factor behind getting solid manifestations of the things you desire. 

    Yes, positive statements are needed but they render useless if you haven’t identified and released your pre-programmed limiting belief system.  

    You are badass. You are beautiful, you are bold, and you are exceptional. But you are also a human being who has emotions, feelings, trauma, pain, and guilt from experiences and events.  

    Throughout the course of your life, you’ve developed a poor mindset based on certain situations and setbacks that don’t support your new efforts to create a positive, more fulfilled life. In order to do this, you need to identify and heal your core wounds so new mindset patterns can take hold. 

    Crush limiting beliefs. 

    Limiting beliefs are often what stops us from completing the desired intention, especially for larger or out-of-the-ordinary things. On a deeper level, limiting beliefs are also known as counterintentions. These are statements and thoughts we tell ourselves consciously or unconsciously that define our everyday life. We create outcomes we didn’t intend to or want, because of deeply-ingrained beliefs that affect our mindset on the daily. 

    For example, “I am a fraud.”  

    A statement as negative as this will usually stem from a few things such as low self-esteem, family or friends talking about others being frauds, or your fear of judgment of what others may think of you.  

    The fact is you haven’t created the life you desire for one of two reasons:  

    1. You have been using the Law of Attraction in such a way that calls in everything you don’t want in life rather than what you do want.
    2. You have not cleared up your counter-intentions (aka limiting beliefs). 

    “In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.” Francis Bacon 

    Deep within the depths of your soul lies everything. Since you were born, layer by layer of programming has been added to your state of being and way of thinking.  

    Heal core wounds by feeling them. 

    I’m going to be real with you right now or you will continue to spend most of your life, if not the rest of it, searching for contentment and desires that you may never find. Situations and emotions happen that cause us pain, trauma, and the feeling that life will always be this way. The only way that is the truth is if you allow it to be.  

    That being said, I encourage clients to feel feelings, always. Feel the feelings of the past, of the present, and of the future, just don’t put them on to wear. Browse through them, taste test them to gain perspective then let them be as they are. Breathe no more life into them. The reality is that if you don’t break free of your limiting beliefs, you’re screwed. You end up playing them on replay over and over throughout your life. 

    I wrote an eBook that specifically helps you identify and crush your limiting beliefs. I encourage you to download it and use it as often as you need to. Limiting beliefs are often the gateway into your core wounds. Hiccups will come into our lives; it’s how we choose to handle them that is the biggest breakthrough. 

    Make manifesting easy by going beyond the belief. 

    I want you to not only discover your limiting beliefs, but I also want you to uncover where they came from. Likely, these are dark and painful places. Many people think that they’ve already tackled these things in the past but likely, all they really did was state that they happened.  

    Getting to the root of where your beliefs came from, healing them, and releasing is where the real magic happens. When you dispel your fears and move into a higher vibration, manifesting becomes not only more possible but assured.  

    Why mindset is so crucial to manifestation. 

    At this point, you may be pulling the reins back saying, “Are you f’n kidding me? What does this have to do with me making/getting XYZ anyway?”  

    IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH IT.

    Some experiences may be incredibly difficult to revisit but these are the things that keep you literally chained to the floor.  

    Whether its feelings of guilt, anger, loss, or loneliness or thoughts of being average, broken, unlovable, difficult or a loser; lack of worth is holding you back. At some point in your life, someone said or did something to you that caused you to lose or feel something about yourself. Maybe you simply witnessed something, but it affected you more than you realized.  

    I find that most emotional damage that leads to a counter-intentional mindset stems from two different types of experience: 

    • Passive Experience 

    Coming from a family that didn’t express emotions and made a habit of throwing feelings under the rug, I can tell you that shit adds up over time. I was never taught how to work through emotional situations or how to understand the feelings that accompanied them.  

    I witnessed my parents’ struggles and pain but, as a child, I didn’t understand what was going on and, at times, I felt like it was somehow my fault. How could you be affected by this?  

    You could begin to believe that what you feel doesn’t matter. I’ve had clients point out that they have had no trauma and life was “normal” so they should have nothing “wrong” with them. For one, nothing is ever wrong with you, you’ve always done the best you could with what you had, and so did everyone who has done to you. They were battling their own wars.  

    But more importantly, this passive experience that likely took years to develop created a mindset of “my feelings don’t matter.” 

    • Traumatic Experience 

    A traumatic example is when someone has endured sexual assault or physical/verbal abuse. Often, children will respond one of two ways to these experiences. They will either shut down, showing little to no affection or emotions, or do just the opposite by acting out on emotions and affections in more extreme ways such as becoming promiscuous or rebellious, etc. We become products of our environments, but the key is not allowing them to define us.   

    Regardless of how you picked-up your limiting beliefs, you didn’t get those thoughts in your head overnight. That’s years of programming going on in there. Years of habits and years of coping mechanisms employed. In order to make manifesting easy, you must reprogram your mind to support what you want to call in. 

    Regaining control of that brain of yours is step one. Reprogram one thought at a time. Deliver to yourself one ounce of truth at a time to slowly awaken and remove the layers to reveal what’s deep within.  

    I recommend reading 5 Spiritual Steps to End Limiting Beliefs to aid you in uncovering and healing your core wounds and getting control of your mindset and help make manifesting easy. 

    Danielle Aime Intuitive Life and Business Coach

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  • How to Strengthen Your Intuition & Increase Your Spiritual Gifts

    How to Strengthen Your Intuition & Increase Your Spiritual Gifts

    How to Strengthen Your Intuition & Increase Your Spiritual Gifts & Connection

    You don’t need things to become more spiritual. 

    Tarot cards, crystals, sage OH MY!

    Since the dawn of human existence, we have perpetuated the use of many mystic tools to become more spiritual. Moon rituals, yoni eggs, oils, and the like are often considered great ways to enhance your spiritual journey. But they can also get you caught up more in illusions than in bringing you closer to the truth.  Especially if you want to utilize your intuition. 

    But Danielle, I LOVE my crystal-oil-blue-room-meditation-healing-while-sitting-on-my-sacred-pillow-golden-light-halo-lamp ritual!! How can you ever expect me to believe that it’s not helping me be more spiritual!?!  

    It’s ok Betty. You can have an entire amethyst cave chock-full of your favorite tools and have them be meaningful to you. If that’s what you choose, and it feels good for you – have at it!  

    But you don’t NEED any of that to be a more spiritual being. You can’t be more spiritual than you already ARE. You ARE Spirit. Becoming more spiritual to strengthen your intuition is about returning to our natural state. 

    You are a spiritual being. 

    It’s important to remember you are a spiritual being having a human experience. Not the other way around. 

    Your soul ascended here in human form to embark on a pre-determined journey of growth in perspective 

    Spiritual accessories can help you learn and inspire your human-ness to be in a more spiritual mood. But the tools are not what makes you become more spiritual. They are just things, helping your human-self along in understanding.   

    So, what really makes you more spiritual? 

    Trust and belief in yourself, that you already possess infinite possibility, and that you fully embody spirit within you is really the only ‘thing’ you need to move closer to Spirit.  

    If you hold faith you NEED tools or things to bring you to your desired state of oneness with the Creator, you will likely be highly disappointed. Relying on spiritual knick-knacks to bring you faith, contentment or joy is what puts people in a constant state of highs and lows when pursuing their highest potential.  

    Hey, I get it. It feels good to get something new, that you feel connected to. But going that extra mile of willing it to be what brings you to the state of Being you’ve been searching for is whats holding you back from your purest spiritual form.  

    It’s not that thing that brings you closer to Spirit. It’s acknowledging and connecting to your inner Source that ensures you are living consciously, therefore becoming more “spiritual”.  

    5 simple steps to end your limiting beliefs
    Don’t fall into comparison. 

    This is another way we humans tend to fuel ourselves– off the comparison to others. Examples:  

    “She meditates for an hour every single day – if I did that, I’d be WAY more spiritual.” (Secretly hates meditating..) 

    “She’s so good at reading cards. I can’t read cards as well, I don’t have gifts like that.” (Secretly skeptical about cards.) 

    “She held a crystal and manifested $100 bucks! That NEVER happens to me and I own $5,627 worth of crystals. What am I doing WRONG!” (Secretly knows NOTHING about crystals. Just heard they were good for spirituality.) 

    Sound remotely familiar? Don’t worry, I won’t judge you. It’s part of the human path to our soul’s calling to search out external help. I will tell you, however, that it’s this way of thinking that gets us in all kinds of ruts when trying to become more spiritual.  

    It’s not the things we use to enhance or aid us in our spiritual journey that makes us spiritual. It is you and I and everyone. Fully and completely, without any accessories.  

    -Danielle Aime

    Kat Horodyski of My Spiritual Roadtrip describes the concept of true spirituality by saying that in her own journey, being spiritual is more about putting energy behind that which is full of love, instead of that which is out of obligation or fear.  

    If you fear you aren’t really spiritual without a stick of Palo Santo in your hand, you’re missing the point of true spirituality. When in a state of comparison, you are focusing more on the thing that played a role in someone’s experience than you are on the state of Being the human was in while using that thing.

    Spirit is already within you. It’s right there. It’s not a set of beliefs, there are no rules to follow to unveil it, and tools aren’t needed to get to it. Yes, you can choose to have them there if it makes you feel good and helps you move towards your highest state. But possessing them or partaking in things you don’t really feel aligned with is not making you more spiritual.  

    Spirituality is oneness with the Creator. Realizing you are not alone and an infinitely powerful being. 

    -Danielle Aime
     

    How to strengthen your intuition to tap into your natural state of spiritual gifts without all the things. 

    Develop, listen to and use your intuition. It’s as simple as that. Honestly, if we all practiced developing just this one thing, our entire world would be a completely different place.  

    Trusting yourself and having faith that you are divine and one with Spirit will lead to you trust the feelings and messages you get when going inward, beyond that human suit of yours. Intuition is our pre-existing, soul-guidance system that gives us all we need to live a more spiritually-rich life. 

    Ask and Listen to Strengthen Your Intuition

    Develop intuition by asking yourself questions, listening to what comes up, and trusting it. Questions to ask yourself might be: 

    What levels of yourself have you still not unlocked? Where have you not found acceptance? Where do you still dim your shine? Where is your voice shut off? Where in your life are you scared to not fit the ‘norm’?   

    Your inner guidance system will guide you in the highest light, with the least amount of struggle.  It’s the human beings we are that allows us the free will to choose how to react to our intuition, what to listen to and what to ignore.   

    It’s free will that often moves us away from trusting our intuition. Human fear (ego) is what’s created an entire planet that seems dedicated to ignoring this single, most important sense. It’s our human-ness that muddies the waters and tells us we need to look outward to a thing to gain a higher perspective and spiritual connection. 

    The more you trust yourself, the more you will be open to receive the spiritual guidance that we’ve come to know as intuition.  The more you actively explore your intuition, the more you will learn to distinguish between the guidance of higher self and of fear-based ego (human free will) that we tend to adhere to more. 

    danielle aime spiritual teacher intuitive business coach

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