4 Ways To Make Learning Self-Love & Discovery Not Be So Damn Awkward
Not only is self-love a foreign concept for most, but the idea of self-love can also feel uncomfortable AF. I mean think about it; is there anything else more intimate than the idea of self-love? Going inward and giving your mind, your spirit and your body all the attention, care, and affection you would normally reserve for the others in your life isn’t a concept we’ve grow up becoming accustomed to.
Self-Love isn’t a Fad Diet
Once you’ve wrapped your mind around the idea that this intimacy with yourself is non-negotiable and necessary to live a fulfilled life, you need to start taking the (sometimes painfully) awkward steps that will get you there.
We haven’t exactly been raised with a self-love guidebook to help us along. In fact, the entire idea of it hasn’t really been openly talked about until the last decade or so. Despite its newness, the self-love revolution that’s slowly taking hold in the world isn’t a fad. It’s a spiritual awakening to a very life-affirming necessity that has been stripped of us for centuries.
When you think about the traditional school’s focus on high grades to “get a good job”, television commercials and ads with “must-have” messages voiced over utopic images of happy people doing happy things with their happy smiles, and iconic literature like the Great Gatsby that literally revolves around glorifying one man’s idea of greatness through material illusions, it’s easy to recognize we have been coerced to believe that only things of external value create true happiness. It’s a total fucking sham. And the lies are finally coming home to roost.
Step into Self-Love Consciousness
Waking up to the fact that every value you’ve built your life around is a sham, designed to keep you an unconscious prisoner of life is often shocking and painful. It’s tough to recognize external validation for the steaming hot cup of bullshit it is, but it’s also empowering.
I found that there is only one thing that heals every problem, and that is: to know how to love yourself. – Louise Hay
Hyper-focusing on the external things you desire; people, money, business, etc., are reflections of the voids inside of yourself. Skipping over your internal voids keeps you unconscious to the internal turmoil that has you always searching, always longing, and always unfulfilled.
How do you find self-love? You dig. You isolate and you ache from being lonely. You heal. You accept. You look in the mirror and see the Universe. – Danielle Aime
Learning Self-Love is the Epicenter of a Fulfilled Life
Your deep, internal self is where the magic happens. If your internal self is dark, full of shame, guilt, self-blame, or is in any way being rejected or ignored, nothing you do or have in your life will bring you peace.
On the flip-side, if your internal self is connected to your consciousness, loved, honored, and nurtured, your whole life turns around. You are then able to not only create the external life that you want, but you can enjoy the external results that come from internal love and connection.
How much you love yourself is what determines your fulfillment in life. -Danielle Aime
Shine from Within Through Acceptance
When you love yourself exactly as you are, you begin to shine from within. Your external environment becomes a beautiful life, adorned with all the things you thought you had to start with to make you happy. Ironically, it’s the internal acceptance that creates that visual of external results you’ve been looking for.
If you aren’t familiar with HOW to love yourself, you’re not alone. Self-love is often simplified down to a hot bath or a relaxing massage. These are nice things to do for yourself, but they skip over the internal work that’s required to achieve self-love and put you back where you are most comfortable: external devices! It feels good at the moment, but when you get out of the tub, you go right back to a life with more pain, fear, and struggle than you want or is necessary.
To achieve self-love, you’re going to have to dig deep and learn how to become fully present to yourself. This means the discomfort of exploring your truest-self, understanding who she really is, what she really needs, and then showering her with the attention and acceptance she needs. Only then can something like a hot bath be relevant to loving yourself.
The Maverick Blueprint for Self-Love If you know me at all, then you’ll know I don’t do anything by-the-book. I am a self-professed Spiritual Maverick and I work with clients who have that burning desire to step outside the comfort zone of what society deems as normal. The blueprint below shows you how to start learning self-love through self-exploration, acceptance, and healing.
Susie may manifest more in her life simply because her self-worth confidence love meter in that sector of her life is full – YOURS is not. Accept that you are not Susie, you are you. Find awareness inside of yourself and you will find the answers to your life that you desire deep within.
Accept where you are at with loving yourself.
It’s ok for it to feel weird about soulfully exploring yourself. Don’t make it worse by being hard on yourself for not feeling like a divine goddess through it all. No one learns self-love in a week.
That hesitation that comes up is your ego-signal trying to keep you comfortable and in the same place. Push through that discomfort and see what’s on the other side. Allow for mistakes and don’t judge the feelings that will bubble up by going inward.
Identify internal voids you may be trying to fill through external sources/validations.
This can be effing hard to do on your own. My previous blog about Inner Work talks about my own struggles with it and outlines the ways I recommend exploring your inner-self.
Take action to heal.
You can start to implement some self-care routines as a part of self-love. But be certain you aren’t just doing something because someone says it’s a nice thing to do for yourself. You want to purposely and consciously move forward in such a way that serves you and nourishes your spirit.
Honestly, this doesn’t have to be hard. Simple things like 15 minutes of guided meditation, taking a walk to clear your mind, or practicing mirror work are simple and cost-effective ideas. Play around with this, make it fun, and only do what feels good.
Learning self-love is a continuous practice, be gentle, give grace and grow.