Ahhh, forgiveness. The elusive, seemingly impossible dream. This entire topic is a real bitch, isn’t it? Forgiveness is big area of exploration these days for my clients and a huge part of the equation to finding personal and spiritual freedom. I won’t lie, understanding self-forgiveness is even harder and is the work of a warrior.  

1. What is forgiveness? Is it always necessary to forgive? Who do you forgive first? And how do you start forgiving yourself? These are just a few questions on this monumentally confusing topic that confront us as we move through personal transformation. 

I know what a confusing mess forgiveness can seem like when you are starting down the road of spiritual awakening, so I’ve created this post as a roadmap to help get you started with understanding the basics of forgiveness and the process of starting where it matters most – yourself. 

What is forgiveness? 

The dictionary version of forgiveness is “to cease to feel resentment against”. It’s almost laughably simplistic, isn’t it? As simple as it sounds, there is usually no straight-line path to forgiveness. You don’t start at anger, resentment, and hurt and just walk on over to everything is awesome. If only it were that simple.   

Forgiveness rather is a container in which you choose to nurture or not. It’s a continuum of moving back and forth through emotions and choices. You know you are within a state of forgiveness when your feelings of anger, hate, or resentment become neutralized. This happens through acceptance of what it was that caused the feelings. 

Marriage and Family Therapist Andrea Brant says that “by forgiving, you are accepting the reality of what happened and finding a way to live in a state of resolution with it. This can be a gradual process…” 

You don’t HAVE to feel happy or joyful when thinking about the person you are forgiving, or the parts of yourself you don’t enjoy looking at. But you don’t feel shame, guilt or resentment either. 

Why is forgiveness important? 

There is no doubt: forgiveness work can feel like a hot pile of steaming garbage to go through. So, it’s easy to wonder why–in–the–actual–hell you would ever put yourself through it. 

The reason the work of self-forgiveness is transformative and worth it is because it elevates you to a place of peace in your life. This peace is the catalyst for self-love and allows space for you to begin forgiving others and enhancing your spiritual path. (Use this para as a sharable quote box within the blog to highlight.) 

Besides inner-peace, the forgiveness of yourself and of others helps us on our spiritual path. It connects us more to ourselves and to others, therefore bringing us to closer alignment with source.  

The way of the spirit is to embrace life – all of it….we often have the power to transform what is destructive in life. Forgiveness of others, and self, is an act of transformation and a high spiritual path.

–Heather Seguin, Thymewood

Where to start. 

Within personal transformation comes a portion of deeper unveiling of one’s self. We hit certain milestones of release, awareness, and growth to then almost feel as if we are plateauing – or getting stuck at one point of growth. This, in fact, is a signal that you have gotten yourself very close to your core truth. The space just before core truth is where the lies you have about yourself – guilt and shame – reside.  

This is the point of origin of the unwanted feelings. You are hitting the core of who you really are, and you freeze (plateau) because moving through those feelings is crazy-scary waters! Most people bail at this point and stay stuck in discontentment. This is where understanding self-forgiveness becomes essential to personal wellness and spiritual growth. 

The anger, the sadness, the depression, the fear – those are the parts of yourself that need forgiveness and love. Forgive yourself for the things you may have done that you’re not proud of and for having so many negative feelings about yourself or your situation.  

Often, the feelings we have when getting close to our truest self are extraordinarily complex and leave us unsure how to sort them out and process them.   

How do you forgive feelings that you don’t understand? 

Those yucky feelings that come up during self-forgiveness work that have you stuck, have embodied you on your journey. They have contributed to your sense of shame, hurt or worthlessness and by being there, have held you captive to staying the same.  

They initiated to protect you – you have outgrown them once you are at the plateau of feeling stuck. It is here that you need to dawn your warrior attire and begin the work of forgiving yourself in order to move more towards your highest-self.  

The most important person to forgive in life is YOU. 

To release – to let go – we forgive.  Remember these things as you begin to heal: 

Know that you have always done the best you could with what you knew, could handle, or were able to accept at the time of these events. Even in your worst moments, when you may have lost control – that was your truth then and that’s what you needed to experience.  

Thank the experience, love it, forgive it, and let it go. We see these memories as the scars we carry, but they actually give us the ability to rise.  

Feel those feelings. ALL feelings that arise are important to acknowledge and feel so they can be accepted and forgiven.  

4 Step Exercise 

If you are reading this article, you are likely ready to start healing and working on finding inner peace. Doing the exercise below is a great way to start and will help you learn about your feelings, release them and create the inner peace that only self-forgiveness can bring.  

• Write a letter (or audio record) to the parts of you that you don’t know how to face.  
• It’s important to really focus on and bring up all the emotions attached to these shadow parts. These emotions can range from anger to sadness to jealousy to remorse.  
• Go deep to acknowledge that those feelings about yourself exist and let them go by writing: “I forgive myself for all the harm I have caused myself and to others in the past. I forgive myself for ever having had these ugly feelings towards myself, and for punishing myself through self-hatred, guilt, and shame. I now release myself from these feelings and hold myself and all around me to the highest good.” 
• If possible, do an inner-child meditation and hug yourself deep within. We all have a little girl inside of us just wanting to know that she’s accepted as she is, mistakes and all. 

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“You get what you think about.” Abraham Hicks

It seems so simple, doesn’t it? Think about something and have it – or its energetic equivalent – manifest into your life. While the concept seems simple, the practice of active manifestation bears many more complications to getting what you want than you are likely able to work through.  

A lot of the frustration of manifesting comes from the wide array of incorrect or misleading information that now exists on the topic. The truth is, the word ‘manifesting’ has been used and abused in recent years and has now become a money-making scam for many self-proclaimed “gurus” as a way to make a quick buck. 

Getting what you want comes naturally.

What most people don’t realize when it comes to “manifesting” is that they have been doing it their whole lives. Yep, even you. From the time we are children, we unconsciously (or consciously) bring experiences or things into our lives through the process of manifestation.  

Don’t agree?  

Just ask any parent who’s ever bent to the pressure of buying a toy for their child at the store. 

The child is set on getting the object of their desire. It may take more than one trip to the store, it may take waiting until their birthday, or it may take getting a less expensive, but equally appealing toy.  

The point is…they align with a desire, stay persistent with it and their vibrational frequency brings them the equivalent of their desire. Manifesting is the Law of Attraction, which simply means like attracts like. Your vibrational frequency plus human beliefs will equal said desires.  

Like attracts like: Manifestation defined. 

Our energy bodies and paths have a lot to do with what we call into our lives and we create vibrations when we create thoughts. The vibrations we create with our thoughts attract like vibrations, hence ‘like attracts like’. If you don’t like what you’re experiencing, all you need to do is change your vibration by changing your thoughts.  

We live in a world of our own creation and we should speak only such words and think only such thoughts as we wish to see manifest in our lives. We must think only about what we wish to experience. 

“You are a living magnet. What you attract into your life is in harmony with your dominant thoughts.” Brian Tracy

Staying present is key. 

So, what is it that makes manifestation so difficult for some? It’s learning to master your own mind by controlling what you allow it to focus on. Controlling our thoughts takes practice and unending discipline, which is where most people fall off the rails.  

The best way to start mastering this skill is to remember to stay focused on the present moment. Don’t linger on lost opportunities or past mistakes – and don’t fixate on the worries of tomorrow, inturn helping to ease the frustration of manifesting. 

Feeling good now is the key to success; living in the present moment. Don’t save your happiness until after the success.  

Being in the present moment allows you to communicate to the universe that you are right where you need to be, and that you choose to feel good now. YOU create the emotions of satisfaction, happiness, and love, not the situations outside of your control.  

If you struggle finding acceptance in the present and have trouble stating, “I am right where I need to be”, then you need to work on finding awareness, acceptance, and appreciation for your life.  

You can do this by finding awareness, acceptance, and appreciation in the things that you feel have pained you or kept you from progressing in life. I like to call this Authentic Internal Response.  

Authentic Internal Response occurs when the “lesson” has been learned by having met the criteria of awareness, acceptance, and appreciation.  

Focus on what you do have. 

What’s in the past is in the past. There’s nothing you can do to change it. You can “coulda, woulda, shoulda” all day long, but doing so won’t alter the outcome or change where you are now.  

Learn what you need from past events and then let them go. And tomorrow isn’t here yet so why worry about it? Worrying or obsessing won’t prevent things from happening. It’s important to stay in the present because it’s the only part of the time that you have any control over. 

Choosing to feel good now by acknowledging what you do have signals Universe that you have what you want, and it strives then to deliver more of what you want. Again, like attracts like, ending the frustration of manifesting.   

Many people believe if you were to feel good where you are now, then you would not go any further because your satisfaction would make you stuck in the current state. Au contraire, my friend! The simple thought of acceptance and appreciation for where you are has the power to manifest grander things into your life and catapult you to where you long to be.  

When one is ok with where they are, that means they can find gratitude and appreciation in what lies around them, therefore signifying to the universe, ‘Wow, I love feeling this way. I love life; it’s beautiful. Bring me more please.’ The Universe loves to please you by delivering what you want. However, you need to make sure you are telling it what you want as opposed to telling it what you don’t want.  

Think about this example: 

You are in such a financial hole that you have no idea how you will pay your rent much less anything else that is due that month. Now instead of focusing on the lack and worry that most of us default to, try signifying to the Universe that you feel good where you are.  

It is you saying, ‘I see how much I do have. I have a roof over my head at this present moment. I have life. I have the ability to see, to hear, to feel, to express myself, to desire more.’ You have endless amounts of things to be grateful for, all you need to do is change your focus to see them.   

In this light you’re no longer telling the Universe, ‘Debt, debt, debt, please bring me more.’ You are instead sending out the vibration of “I have so much, please bring me more.’ If debt is your biggest struggle in life, then my Money Mindset course may help you.  

Rewire your thoughts. 

Read this statement or write it down 10 times or until the lightbulb goes off:  

FOCUS ON WHAT IS GOING RIGHT IN YOUR LIFE BEFORE YOU FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT TO HAVE.  

The present thought is so crucial and imperative if you’re tired of the frustration of manifesting not happening in your favor. It helps to be consciously aware of what you are saying to your brain so you can feed it the thoughts that amplify manifestation. Read or write down this next statement 20 times each day until you really feel it and believe it. 

I am right where I need to be. 

When you get yourself into this mindset, things around you become much easier and dare I say magical.  

Detach from immediacy. 

The counter-intuitive factor at play is what’s meant for you to have and when. Occasionally we can be quite hasty and very impatient beings; we like to see results yesterday. It can be hard to wait for the outcome, but again, don’t allow your impatient thoughts to take over and create resistance to your desires.   

Think of it like this: If life was always one way and you got anything you wanted with a snap of a finger without any effort or desire, life would be so redundant and systematic with zero perspectives.  

Life is full of contrasts and lessons, and if it weren’t so, it would be boring AF. I don’t know about you, but I’ll take a life of contrasts with all the painful downs so I can also experience the beautiful ups over redundant and boring any day.  

Getting what you want in life shouldn’t be an almighty struggle. Focus on the good, consciously rewire your thought pattern and be patient. If you can do just this, you will capture the art of manifestation.  

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Embracing the Flow: A Guide to Soul Alignment

Hello beautiful people! Ready to dive deep into self-discovery and soul alignment?

Today, we are going to explore an often overlooked aspect of personal development: embracing the flow. For many of us, the hustle and push of everyday life can feel somewhat constant. There’s always something to do, some goal to reach, some problem to solve. While there’s certainly room for ambition and striving in life, it’s crucial to balance this energy with softer, more yielding moments of flow.

Who is ‘You’?

The first step to embracing your natural flow is understanding yourself on a deep and profound level. Often, we race after goals, dreams, and societal expectations that don’t necessarily align with our true desires and identities. But who are ‘you’ at your core?

You are more than just your body and your mind. Many believe in the concept of the soul, the eternal essence within us that experiences and learns from the world around us. This soul is who we truly are, and it resides within our physical form, observing, learning, and growing from life’s experiences.

The more in touch we are with our soul, the more we can live in harmony and alignment with our true selves.

Understanding the Soul

Truly knowing oneself requires not just recognizing your desires, but understanding your relationship with the world and with your self. This is where the concept of the ‘false self’ comes in. The false self is made up of unhealthily internalized beliefs, traumas, and societal expectations. Breaking these down and moving past them is a significant part of spiritual growth.

Depending on where you are in your journey, traditional therapy could be a great starting point for this work. However, if you find that traditional methods aren’t giving you the progress you desire, don’t hesitate to explore other avenues.

In the spirit of introspection, consider these open-ended questions:

• Why am I hesitant to make this decision?

• Why does the path I’m on feel wrong to me?

• Is this desire really mine, or am I trying to fulfill someone else’s expectations?

If these questions feel daunting, don’t fret. I’ve designed a workbook specifically for this sort of introspection. It’s available for only $7 and provides a solid foundation for your self-discovery journey.

Flow Over Force

When we learn to understand ourselves—our true self, not just our surface level being—we can begin to move with more grace and less strain. We don’t need to force things, hustle unnecessarily, or run ourselves ragged. Sometimes, the most powerful course of action is letting go and allowing the natural order of things to unfold.

As counterintuitive as it may seem, surrender can be the key to success. There’s profound wisdom and strength in letting go of control; we make room for new possibilities and experiences to flow into our lives.

Creating Your Path

Everyone has their own unique path in life and it’s important to remember there’s no ‘one size fits all’ approach to success. For me, maintaining a balanced, fluid lifestyle brings me satisfaction. Whether my business is soaring or times are tough, staying connected with people and living in alignment with my authentic self are my main priorities.

Indeed, the pitfalls of losing alignment can be severe. In 2019, I was lured by the glitz and glamour of automation, quick sales, and flashy success metrics. I had everything I had dreamed of—lead generations, automatic income, etcetera—yet I started feeling hollow inside.

Why? Because I was trying to fit into a success mold that didn’t align with my true self. I was feeding a false identity, losing touch with what truly represented me, which is connecting with people on a deeper level.

The Power of the Now

Here’s the kicker: Understanding the power of ‘now’ is the key to true fulfillment and abundance. When we’re present in the moment, we can attune to the flow of life, align with the natural rhythm of the universe, and create space for abundance to flow into our lives.

The next time you’re faced with a tough decision or you’re questioning your next move, ask yourself: Is this really what I want? Or, is this something my ‘false self’ thinks I need?

There’s immense power in discerning between these two questions.

As always, thank you for joining me on this journey of understanding and personal growth. I’m Danielle Amy and I’d love to have you join us for more discussions on real, raw spirituality and self-development. Be sure to subscribe to keep up with fresh content released every Tuesday and Thursday. See you in the next post!

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